On the eve of the Sarens half marathon, I lay wide awake in bed knowing something was gnawing at me inside with regards to my running but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I was unsure if I was over-training, if I was mentally or physically drained but something wasn’t right. After an hour of over – analysis, it suddenly dawned on me what was wrong. Here’s what I realised:
- I keep comparing myself to other runners I follow on social media instead of focussing on my own running journey. In my mind, everyone seems to be running faster times and improving a hell of a lot quicker than me. (Really?)
- I’ve constantly been improving my PB, yet after 7 months with Coach Dave, I am still slower than some of the familiar faces I see at the races. I can’t keep up with runners that I used to. Why not? This bugs me.
- I am trying to keep up with my Running Junkie Two friends and frustrated that I can’t.
- Once again, I am caught up in that mad whirlwind they call “Two Oceans” and desperately wanting to run a good time down in Cape Town in a race I really hate.
You see, it isn’t just one thing. It is a few things that added up to one major issue: I have lost sight of my goals. I have started to look around at everything else except at my own running journey and the progress I have made since August last year.
But it’s even more than that. Lying in bed at 00h35, I knew that I wanted to run Sarens faster than 2:46 but I had no race plan. No strategy. I didn’t even know what my average pace should be. How crazy that after so many months of running, I had not worked this out in my head!
Surely no runner should go into any race so unprepared. Surely it’s the same with life? With no plan, no vision, do we really know how to reach our goals and how to measure success? 
I need to go back to the drawing board. I need to reset some of my goals because the goal posts have shifted. And they should shift as I improve, right?
Sarens was a great race, by the way. I ran it in 2:44.
Keeping up with the Walkers... 
Ok… seriously though… now I NEED to know why you hate Oceans???
Freaking out a little!
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Okay, so here’s my deal with Two Oceans. It’s congested. Very congested. And up until last year, I was running 21kms in 3 hours. With the race cut off time of 3 hours, it was incredibly difficult to make cutoff – which I missed one year. A DNF 😦 But they have extended the time by 10 mins now to allow for so many people which has helped. But now I arrive as early as I can to get as close as i can to the start which also helps. I just find there is SO much pressure with that race. And I don’t deal with stress & pressure that much. It’s about the running not the pressure but with my pace, i had that extra axe over my head. I’m hoping to run a better time this year… But it’s totally my own issues with Oceans. Others love it! Go run it & decide for yourself! 🙂 I’m just carrying baggage…
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https://keepingupwiththewalkers.com/2013/02/27/dear-two-oceans-half-marathon-we-need-to-talk (This sums it up…)
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https://keepingupwiththewalkers.com/2013/02/27/dear-two-oceans-half-marathon-we-need-to-talk
Like I said, my issues…
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Your reasons are exactly what has been stressing me out about Oceans too. I’m not a fast runner and I’ve been worried about the crowds slowing me down and taking away from my limited time to complete the race.
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You know what…. We conquer! Don’t even think about it and do the best you can! We’re runners. WE’VE GOT THIS!!!!!
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This is so very true, we often lose sight of what it is WE want to achieve when we start comparing ourselves to others… yet another draw back of the technological age we live in…
GREAT time by the way!
xx
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Well done on the Sarens race. I think that we sometimes get so distracted by what others are doing and how well they are doing that we lose sight of how well we are doing. Good luck for the two oceans race.
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seriously you should worry less about other people and run for you;):)
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Yay that’s a fantastic time! Well done!
A bit worried about your comment re the Two Oceans… I do not want to hear that it’s your worst race! It’s so damn close and I’m already stressing about it!
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Don’t stress at all! It’s a huge race! A great experience! *goosies*
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Hello 🙂 Found your blog from the South African bloggers Facebook group.
I’m curious – I’ve always wanted to run, but I don’t necessarily feel safe strutting out on the streets by myself – a young, big-boobed lady with a cellphone. I feel like I’d be a target. It’s not that my area is particularly unsafe, but it’s not boomed off or anything. I also don’t have anyone that could run with me/
So – when and where do you run? Do you run alone?
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Hello hello! How cool is that Facebook group for us Bloggers! Okay so I do track with a coach on Mon, Wed & Sat at Randburg Harriers club. Then on the other days, I totally get you re: felling safe alone on the road. I do not wear jewelry & never take my phone. My Garmin watch tracks my runs. With it getting into winter now it’s harder cause it’s darker earlier so I’ll most prob have to run at the gym during the week. Bleurgh! On Thursdays I like to head to Harriers for the time trial of 5kms. Anyone is welcome and runners head out anytime from 5pm even. Then lastly on a Saturday & Sunday is a fab running group called Boskruin Runners (look for their Facebook group) which runs from either Boskruin BP or Virgin Active gym. The routes vary and I’ve enjoyed them. Also open to all. Where do you live? I’m in the Douglasdale area….
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Hmm okay. Unfortunately I live in Alberton, also known as Farmville where no cool running groups exist (the plan is to move to the northern suburbs ASAP). If you don’t take your phone with you, what would you do if something happened to you, like a dog running out and attacking you? 😦
Anyway, if I wasn’t so stingy, a gym contract and a treadmill would serve me well. It just seems so silly to pay for something that I could do for free on my own!
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I kinda hope that if something happens, almost everybody will have a phone and hopefully I can use it. But Ya, I get your point.
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Well done !! Stop being so hard on yourself. Go back to the part about running that really made you happy – the speed will come. I feel your pain though – 3 months after giving birth I ran the Kloofnek 21km … and managed to do 2:45 without proper running training and hardly managing practice runs. My PB before pregnancy was 2:12 on this race so still a ways to go …. I blog about my running/weight loss journey at http://www.chasingdreams.co.za you can follow if curious. (you can edit that last bit out of comment 🙂 )
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I’ve added your blog addie to my list! Thanks for the alert. Looking fwd to the updates.
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