My hubby (KK) and I celebrate 10 years of marriage in September. I’d like to share with you my 10 tips that have kept us together over the years…
1. SAY SORRY
A simple sorry breaks down barriers. In the end, it doesn’t matter who was wrong or right. But what matters is how you both feel when you are fighting. It’s horrible and miserable and in the end, so pointless. Say sorry and mean it. Then when you are ready, sit down and talk about the issue.
2. ALWAYS LOOK YOUR BEST (ACT AS IF YOU ARE STILL DATING)
Make the effort. Why is it that when the doorbell rings, we rush to comb our hair and quickly apply make-up, yet we are okay with our loved ones seeing us at our worst? I like to make sure I always look my best and pretty when I’m around KK. I wear my pretty ear rings and apply make-up on, even on the weekends. Don’t pluck your eye-brows or wax your legs in front of your man. Keep that element of surprise there.
3. FAMILY & FRIENDS
Most couples fight about each other’s family and/or friends yet these are the people that each other cares most about. Agree to disagree. Always remember that these are the very same people that helped built the character of the person you love.
4. HOUSEHOLD CHORES – DIVIDE AND CONQUER
We both work very long, stressful hours, as most couples do. It is not fair to expect one person to still come home from work and ensure all the cooking and cleaning is done all by themselves. KK and I each have a list of set chores to do and we are each responsible for ensuring it gets done. We both contribute. I am grateful to have a husband who does the washing every day.
5. GET A DOG (OR TWO)
Annie and Emma have given us hours of pleasure and brought joy to our lives. They make us laugh with their funny, unique personalities. Enough said. (I guess this is true for those of you who have kids)
6. THANK EACH OTHER. CONSTANTLY
Acknowledge one another. KK thanks me every night for supper. I thank him every morning for breakfast. And we both mean it. It’s not about what is being thanked for, but the acknowledgement that I am grateful for him in my life and what he means to me.
7. MAKE TIME TO BOND
A friend of mine criticized me recently, saying that KK and I need a break on weekends, that we do everything together. Yes, so we go to Woolies together, clothes shopping together, even gym on the weekends. Almost every Saturday evening, our ritual is to go to an early movie and supper. Our “Date Night”. We know that whilst we are hectically busy during the week, we can look forward to that time when we set aside everything to enjoy the time spent with each other. This is what works for us and it is still not old.
8. KNOW WHAT MAKES THE OTHER PERSON ‘TICK’
Recognize the things in life that are important to each other. Make an effort to understand what matters in each other’s lives. It is easier then to understand their hopes, challenges and disappointments.
9. EXPECT EACH OTHER TO CHANGE AND GROW
It’s only natural that you will each change and grow. But it’s important that you take each other on that journey with you. Or else you will drift apart. Change is a good thing and as long as it’s for the good, embrace it. KK cannot expect me to be the same person I was when he met me at 23 years of age to the woman I am at 36.
10. HOLD HANDS. KISS. SMILE AT EACH OTHER.
It’s the little things that add up to the big things. We still hold hands when we go out. And we still kiss before each meal at night. I won’t start eating until he does. And he won’t go to bed until I am ready to. And often, I will catch him out and just stop and say hello. And smile at him. And tell him I love him. Because I do…
11. MAKE TEA – Babes, I threw this one in just in case you’re reading my blog! *kiss*
Love this Bron!
Hi Bronwynne, Great insightful blog based on your own personal experience. The people following you on twitter or reading your blog can learn much from you as you are a good person. May KK and yourself have another awesome 50 years of marriage. Aragorn
Your blog is very good. Its not like other blogs that are plastic and derived.
I enjoy the honestly and positive energy.
This type of post should be mandatory reading for all couples, something to put up on the fridge door.
I agree with everything you have said in this post. I have been married for 8 years and practice most of what you have said.
The only thing missing and I suspect you may have left it out cause your to polite to mention it, is intimacy or SSS.
Its the first thing to go in a relationship and the most difficult thing to get back.
Your number 7, make time to bond, should include bonding at a intimate level.
I have sent your post on to my friends and family to read.
Looking forward to the next entry.
Oh wow, thanks James! After I wrote the tips, i realised that there were in fact so many more – including the one about intimacy which does take a lot more effort than a smile. And i guess in every relationship, there are things that work for some and not for others. Congrats on your 8 years of marriage! it’s wonderful!
Congrats Bron, I love reading your blogs, this one was extra special, keep it up !!!
Congratulations for your 10th coming up, I wish I could just have a 1st one day 😦 I look forward to more reading and seeing you at the races again soon.
Thanks hey Mike! see you at the races!
I love it Bron. U are so right. If we can approach our relationships with a giving attitude instead of always wanting to get the most out of the other person, both parties will win! I am so ready to get married now – i am now approaching marriage in terms of what i wud bring into it and what I am willing to give. Hopefully he (whoever is blessed to have me as his bride) will approach it in the same manner!