Category Archives: My Illness

The day Rogeema ran for me

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Rogeema was one of the first people I engaged with on Twitter. It was a rocky start at first because, I mistakenly thought she was a guy and kept reading her name as Roger Kenny. I finally got to meet her in person when she organised a fabulous tweetup just before Two Oceans in April this year. She even managed to get Comrades winner, Stephen Muzhingi, to join us at the tweetup.

From that day, I knew this about Rog. If she puts her mind to something, you had better believe that it will happen.

So when she announced plans that she would be running a half marathon in 135 minutes in my honour, I knew nothing would stop her. Rog had read a previous blog post of mine where I openly blogged about an illness I was suffering with. She then decided that her next race would be dedicated to me. I urge you to read her story here… 135 minutes for Brony.

I’m going to be honest. From the start, I was not too keen on the idea. I felt that although I had blogged about my illness, I was not dying. In fact, further exposure made me incredibly uncomfortable. Exposed. Vulnerable.

Until 07h20 on Saturday morning that is….

I had just completed a 10km race out in Irene. Throughout the entire race, my mind was filled with thoughts about Rogeema. I thought about her blog, her training and the fact that she was out running for me. Every step I took, I thought about her.

As I finished my race, I raced back to the car to get my phone to get updates. Yes, raced. I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. As I saw the many tweets, I started to cry and realised just how much it meant to me, but also to her.

Rog ran her heart out! She did not manage the 135 minutes, but in my mind, it didn’t matter anymore. Her race had been won even before she started! Her time: 2:26 minutes.

Rogeema, words cannot express what you did for me. I am so touched.

Thanks also to these special people:

Morne Botha (@mohebo). I spoke to Morne at Rogeema’s tweetup. It was the most inspirational 5 minutes that pulled me through Two Oceans this year. Morne, do not under-estimate the motivational power you have.

Fadeelah Kenny (@fadeelahk) yesterday, she broke her long-standing PB by 1.5 mins! (2.19 minutes)

Hasanain Abdullah (@theworx) He heard about the 135 mins challenge and decided on the morning to join. His time: 2h16 minutes.

Vaughan McShane (@vaughanmcshane) Vaughan ran his first half marathon in an awesome time of 2h24 minutes. That totally rocks!

Keri Delport (@kez_delport)  Ironwoman. Need I say more!

Adele MacCannel (@MissyMac77) who was running with a friend doing his 400th race! *gulp*

Leigh (@Leighwatermouse) Official cheerleading squad which is sometimes more important that you can imagine. Thanks for your support and kind words!

About Rogeema: Rogeema is an electrical engineer by profession. She is also an ardent karate-ka and is currently at the level of 2nd dan black belt. Her true passion is developing people and helping them reach their full potential through business, investing, sport, spirituality, personal development and education. She is also active in her community as a human rights activist and serves on the Western Cape committee of Mensa as the editor of The Tablet (quarterly e-zine). I know Rogeema as a runner. Her PB for a half marathon is 02:19:36.

But best of all, Rogeema is my friend!

It’s taken me 12 years to realise that I am never going to get better

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Okay…here goes. *breathe*

Last week I dropped my cup of tea on my lap in front of a good friend and colleague. Instead of being honest to someone I trust and appreciate as a friend in my life, I lied and called myself a “stupid klutz”.

I should have explained to her that my hand was too stiff and in pain to hold my cup properly. I should have told her the truth.  But instead, I brushed it off and carried on. Since then, the pain has migrated from my hands, to my shoulder and now to my hip. It’s been like this since last year July.

The pain is so intense that it has left me crying my eyes out at night, unable to sleep. I use an infra-red massager to ease the pain. I’ve had to ask someone to give me a lift home from work on two occasions because I cannot open my hand to hold the steering wheel to drive home. KK has had to undress me some days because I am unable to lift my arms. I don’t know what to eat anymore because my diet is so restricted, yet I continue to put on weight due to the cortisone I am taking.

I am a fake. I am a liar. I am absolutely miserable.

I am tired of hiding something that I realise will never go away.

12 years ago, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. Just when I had managed to gain control over the disease in my body, last year, the inflammation spread causing me to develop Enteropathic Arthritis affecting my joints and causing me crippling pain which migrates throughout my body.   

I don’t tell people I have an incurable illness. Firstly, most people will not understand exactly what I have. Secondly, unlike other illnesses, my symptoms are not something people want to hear about: bleeding ulcers, bloating, diarrhoea, crippling arthritis, pain…

I never see any glamorous running races to raise money for the Ulcerative Colitis or Enteropathic Arthritis sufferers. We don’t get a bright coloured ribbon to wear. It’s a lonely disease.

So I don’t talk about it. Instead, I hide it. I make as if it doesn’t exist. I hate it. I hate it more than you can imagine.

But I can’t anymore. I am tired of hiding it. I’m tired of carrying around this secret, this burden.

 I’ve come to realise that if I need help and support, people need to know what’s going on.

So that’s what’s going on.

I am in pain. I am weak. I am struggling to control it.

I’m scared.