Caught between a rock and a lazy place

As it got closer to December, I remembered promising myself that once the year started to wind down and become quieter that I’d have more time to run. I looked forward to all the free time once I was officially on leave to ‘hit the road running’ and put in so much more dedicated training. Pffft! 

Well, three weeks into December and that hasn’t happened. As my brain went on leave so did my body! I have been so lazy! Clutched out! My body refuses to wake up early enough before it’s too hot to go running and then when I’m snoozing next to the pool later in the afternoon, I feel so guilty that I haven’t run. The next day, the same pattern repeats itself. 

It’s not as if I can take a break either! Once January arrives, the race calendar kicks into high gear and the races start. Wits Kudus (15km) on the 10th, Dischem (21km) on the 17th, Bobbies half next and ending January off with Johnson Crane (21km). So December should be the ideal month to train, right? 

 

dog kissing runner

Emma giving me a love when I get back from my run

  
feet  dipping in to the pool

Cooling my feet off in the pool

  
hot sweaty running cap socks shoes

Hot & sweaty running kit

 
Okay, maybe sometime this week I’ll try head out for a long run. So far, if you’re tracking me on Strava, you’ll see that I’m currently only managing to attend regular track sessions and run a 7 or 8 km run here and there. It’s better than nothing I suppose. And hey, it’s holiday time! 

*ahem* No more excuses! But maybe time for a nap… 

My new sho’t left running route

Ever since I can remember, I’ve started my weekday afternoon & Sunday morning long slow distance (LSD) runs heading up the same road every time. It’s a nasty pull which is around 1.3km long. By the time I reach the top, I’m grumpy and the average pace on my Garmin has shot up to over 9mins/km. It’s always the worst part of my run but for years now, I’ve convinced myself that it’s “good to do uphill training” and that at least the run home is “all downhill”.

But when I received my May running schedule from my Coach, I needed to factor in an 8km route so I decided to run a different way. Instead of going all the way up, I turn left at the first main road and sort of run the route in the opposite direction. The biggest benefit is that I don’t start my run huffing and panting and vloeking the run. Yes, I do still encounter some hills and yes, I’m still hitting that downhill on the way home. But I guess mentally I don’t start my run feeling like I’ve got such a huge mountain to conquer before I start.Route change

Why I never thought of it before is beyond me. I think we easily fall into a rut. We often think what we’re doing is the best thing. We don’t like to change. It’s too difficult to think up something new so we just go with the flow.

The biggest lesson is that in life, there are always big mountains to climb. They’re often at the beginning of our journeys. But there’s always more than one way over that mountain and yes, sometimes, an easier more fun way too! Find it!

Dear Blog…

I’ve been distant and I know it. I’ve been far too quiet and haven’t posted quite as many blog posts as I used to. I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m unsure what’s wrong with me and I keep thinking of all the excuses as to why I’ve been neglecting you.

– Too busy with work. Yes, it’s been a busy year with so many exciting challenges that have taken up all my time and energy. I’ve worked on projects that I never dreamed I’d be part of before. Projects that have pushed me each and every day and challenged me like nothing before. In fact, work has been fabulous and come to think of it, here would’ve will be the perfect place to talk about it.

– Vulnerable is how I felt. I came across two strangers on Twitter discussing my blog a while back. The fools didn’t realise that I could see their conversation. They called my blog self-centered, self-loathing and a real sad pity party. One of them even said she couldn’t believe I even had so many people reading my blog because it was sh*t. For days their comments gnawed away at me as though they were speaking on behalf of the universe. Bouncing back has been hard.

– Two good friends have left a hole in my heart. One moved on and one passed away. Their opinions mattered and without them, I feel as if some of my mojo is missing too. Accepting that people come and go in life has been tough.

– Time. Oh my gosh, where does the time go each day? I used to be able to write up to three blog posts a week, filled with the most awesome pictures. Nowadays, I struggle to post even one. I have hundreds of ideas and thoughts written down in a book and even more in my head but finding time to sit down and write hasn’t been easy.

Laptop

Something I’ve learned this year with my running is that it takes consistency and discipline each and every day. I need to make time to run and I guess the same is true of my writing.

Next year will be different. I can already tell that I will have so much more to share. Crazy work stories, an update on my running training progress and exciting holidays planned for 2015. I promise to be more dedicated and committed to making this work. I promise. If there’s one constant in my life, it’s this blog. It’s you.

Love Bron

Holding on to (false) hope

I love this time of year! It’s mid-December and everywhere I look, I’m surrounded by wonderful Christmas decorations, the traffic is a breeze because the schools have broken up and my brain is fuzzy as I try desperately to focus on those last few meetings at work before closing the door on yet another (hectic) year.

But this year is different. A scan of any Twitter feed or Facebook timeline will reveal a lot about the state of the country with rolling blackouts and scheduled load shedding. It’s as if we’re stuck so deep in this situation that we’re unable to see beyond it. It feels like a national depression and as the negativity dominates the conversations, it’s very difficult to remain positive. In fact, it’s draining.

Load shedding candle

I’d like to think that everything about me is positive. My attitude, the way I view the world, my reactions to situations. But I must admit, even I am tired of being positive. I don’t know how much longer I can remain positive when reality sets in. I’m sitting on that fence between denial and anger.

As we passed the four hour load shedding mark on Sunday, I sat confidently on the couch, saying to KK that the electricity would go on at any second. I trusted the Eskom schedule. But as the doubt crept in, I knew I would be receiving the dreaded, “I told you so” remark which would crush my spirit. But I did not allow him to see any sign of my despair and smiled back. When the microwave beeped as the electricity was restored, I almost burst out crying. I’m tired. I’m done.

Yes, it’s that time of the year that I love so much, but in a way, my heart is not in it. My head is far, far away… holding on to hope.

(ps: Out of interest, have you changed any of your habits to try help the situation? Switching off non-essential appliances? Planned for load shedding?)

(Image credit: Google images)