If you want to learn about yourself, throw yourself head first out of your comfort zone

Posted on December 9, 2011 by Bo

Anyone that knows me well will have realized that I do not enjoy hosting parties at my house. I will even go as far as admitting that I never invite friends over for supper (sorry guys). I find it too stressful, too much work and in fact, I am to worried that I burn the veggies and cock it up. So for me, it’s easier to meet at a restaurant and not have to stress.

So when I was asked to be part of a team to organize our year end function at work, I thought, that’s cool, how hard can it be? We’re an organizing committee of 10 people so this won’t be too difficult. Boy was I wrong!

What started out as an organized function with a charity event linked to it, turned into a rushed, “run out of time”, make it happen lunch where we had just a mere 2 weeks to pull it all together. It just so happened that it was also during one of the busiest weeks in the year so some of the team members dropped out to focus on work commitments. It was then left to a handful of us who had limited or zero (me) event/function/hosting experience to pull the event off.

When I am stressed and out of my comfort zone, the only way I can feel in control is if I have everything organized, sorted out, all the boxes ticked. But working in a team where some people worked with different views of deadlines and urgency proved the biggest challenge.

Some days I was overwhelmed at the thought that this would be the biggest failure and that everyone would think I was useless (yeah… I know, I’m working on my confidence levels).

It was far from a failure. In fact, it turned out great!

Some lessons I learnt from this experience:

If you provide people with good food, you are already half way there.
Good music is a “must”. And yes, sometimes the old classics are what works best.
Learn to delegate. You can’t do everything.
Once you’ve delegated, trust that it will be done. Don’t keep asking for feedback. (sorry team, I know I nag in red pen)
Ask for help. Roping in a colleague to handle all ‘budgetary’ issues was the best decision. Not only was she brilliant but at least none of the team had to watch the money.
A good party doesn’t need to cost a lot of money. Cheap props from China Town and a box of Ferrero Rochers wins hearts.
I am good at project management. Very good at it.
Other people’s ideas are awesome. I need to stop being so risk-averse, open my eyes and give them a chance.
Being a good team player is a part of who I am, but when I am in charge, I battle to motivate a team.
I need to relax more. For pietsake, it’s a party Bron, not heart surgery.

I had so much fun and the feedback to the organizing committee from the rest of the team has been amazing.

They had fun. Memories were made. That’s what it’s all about!

Running to the end

Posted on November 30, 2011 by Bo

Everyone has the end of year jitters. With talk of holidays and colleagues applying for annual leave, there is still so much work to get done before the end of the year. Invoices need to be submitted, charters need to be briefed, proposals need a decision on, workshops still need to be held. It’s an absolutely crazy time at the office at the moment.

It’s not only me that feels the tension. When I look around, I see some very stressed out faces. Tired, drained, with no more energy left. It even feels as if we’re all ready to give up and throw in the towel. It’s during these times that I remember my Johnson Crane race and realize that there is no option of quitting.

The Johnson Crane half marathon was the very first 21.1km race I ever attempted. I was fine during the first 14 kms. I ran in a good, steady pace. I felt fresh. However, I might have been a bit eager and by the time I got to the 16km mark, I hit the wall.

Hitting the wall is something most runners fear. It’s a terrible feeling. I remember it well. I was exhausted. It felt as if every step I took required immense effort until eventually, I stopped. My body would not carry on. I froze. I could not think of anything else but quitting. My legs refused to move and as hard as I fought it, every muscle in my body had given up on me. My mind was screaming, GO! But my body wouldn’t move.

It took a dear friend who happened to cycle past me to feed me a banana and gels to get some energy pumping through my body before I managed to get my legs to move and carry on running.

I finished my race and to this day, Johnson Crane has become one of my favourite half marathons and holds that special place in my heart.

I have strung my medal around a little ornament on my desk. I use it to inspire me on difficult days.

Especially on days when it feels like I’ve hit the wall. The days when the stress overwhelms me. I stare at it and remember that I am capable of so much more…

It reminds me that even if I hit bumps in the road and even if I am on the verge of quitting that there is always an end in sight…

And a medal!

Admit it. We’re all sick in the head. But that’s okay.

Posted on November 11, 2011 by Bo

An email arrived in my mailbox alerting me to the fact that 3rd December is “International Day of Persons with Disabilities”. I somehow scoffed at this because in my mind, society has not yet caught up with what I believe is the real disability crippling people, families and teams today.

Most people will tell you that when they think of disabilities, they think of those who have physical disabilities – the blind, the deaf, people who are in wheelchairs etc. Yet I am of the opinion that the biggest ‘disability’ facing most of us today is a mental one.

The world we live in has become a tough place. It’s a harsh cruel, ever-changing environment and unless you have your wits about you, it will eat you alive and spit you out. But then again, who does have their wits about them? Who is on top of things? Who’s coping? Not many in my opinion…

When I consider my family, my friends and my colleagues, majority of them do not know if they are coming or going. The levels of stress that are in each of our lives is massive and for most, just getting through the day is a challenge.

I work with colleagues who are too afraid to admit they are not coping. They would rather drown and have no work life balance than ask for help. I find it particularly difficult to watch single mothers battle the way they do. I find it tough to see executives in high positions struggling to lead. At this time of year, stats show that 1 in 5 matriculants think about suicide when writing their final exams.

Worse of all is that I find my own family members thinking they are all alone in this world with problems and issues as big as mountains on their shoulders and ready to quit. *cries*

The levels of stress that we are constantly under and the pressure on us to perform and cope are enormous. People (and their families) living with mental illnesses, such as depression, is an incredibly painful burden to bear and the strain is enormous. It can affect a person’s ability to work, form relationships, and destroy their quality of life.

Ironically, it’s much easier and acceptable to tell people you are blind, than admit that you are not coping. I don’t think that society has moved into a place where people will put up their hands and readily admit to needing help. And it’s especially difficult in the corporate sector where you will be labelled and considered weak and incompetent if you do. The stigma is career-limiting so people are reluctant to admit they have a problem.

Mental illness may take on many forms, and is far more prevalent in our society than we may care to admit. However, many people lack concrete knowledge about it. It gets swept under the carpet. Ignored.

That’s sad…

Sometimes all you need to do is stop…

Posted on November 7, 2011 by Bo

Sunday mornings I like to do my LSD runs. *pause* For those who aren’t familiar with running terms, LSD is an abbreviation for “Long, Slow Distance,” which refers to the practice of running longer distances at an “easy” pace.

KK and I headed out to do his 11km route. The weather was perfect. Cool enough but also sunny. <side-tracked: Johannesburg on a Sunday morning is absolutely beautiful!>

After the first kilometre, I was cruising. The time on my running watch reflected that I was running under 8 minutes per kilometre. My heart leapt! As I neared the next kilometre, I was managing 7:06 minutes per kilometre. I was speeding and it felt so good! By the 3^rd kilometre, I was amazed that I was able to maintain the speed. Oh boy! I was like a demon!

But it didn’t last long…

As I got to the 4km mark, my speed dropped as my legs felt as if they were filled with lead. I was thirsty, my heart felt as if it was ready to explode out of my chest. My energy reserve had been used up. I made the decision to stop.

It suddenly occurred to me that I was supposed to be doing a slow, easy pace, not speed work and that I had lost track of what the run was supposed to be about.

I stopped to catch my breath and rest under the shade of a tree. As I stood there, my mind wandered off as to what my week at work looked like and what I needed to prepare for. One project in particular came to mind…

I am part of a team that has been tasked to organise the department’s year end function. Last week, an urgent meeting had to be called due to some miscommunication. In all our enthusiasm and excitement, we somehow lost focus of what our brief was and had gone off on a tangent trying to incorporate a stunning charity event as part of the day. We needed to stop and re-group our efforts as unfortunately, we were headed for failure. We needed to re-focus our efforts on what really mattered – the function. It was critical to stop while we were still able to.

I guess in life, we are easily side-tracked and lose focus, lose direction and stray from the original plan and then when things don’t turn out the way we intended, we can’t understand why. Yet there’s absolutely nothing wrong with stopping to check that you’re on track and if it means turning around and starting again, that’s also okay.

That’s what happened with my run this morning. My LSD turned into speed work and unless I had stopped to re-focus and to catch my breath, I was headed for injury and not reaching my planned distance.

I’m glad I stopped. I’m glad I cooled down and started again with a gentle, easy jog and was able to do 11kms. I did get sunburnt. But that’s because it took me longer to run the distance because my body was tired.

I learnt my lesson…