I miss my running coughing attacks in the age of coronavirus

The hour before road races start, my body develops what I call “my running coughs.”

My nose runs, I get into a fit of coughing attacks and it feels like my body attempts to vomit all my nerves out.

My coughing reminds me of John Coffee from the movie “The Green Mile.” It’s my way of vomiting up all my fears and nerves as a green mist, leaving my body.

It’s a mixture of excitement and fear pulsating through my body; the fight or flight syndrome at its peak.

I’m usually shivering at the starting line of each race paralyzed in fear, ready to vomit my guts out, screaming these 3 questions in my head:

  • Will I manage the distance ahead of me? It’s too far!
  • Will I come last & be humiliated? WTF am I so slow?
  • Have I done enough training? It’s too late now!

2020 has felt that way for me. The uncertainty. The self-doubt. The fears. The anxiety. The question, “why is this happening?”

Some things are certain with every race:

  • Water stops
  • Road Marshalls
  • Kilometer markings

That’s it! The rest is up to me.

I have no idea until I start running whether or not I’ll feel strong, or if I’ll trip on cat eyes or need the dreaded portaloo, or even hit the wall.

That’s why I get my running coughs. It’s the unknown which is both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

I haven’t run a race since Bobbies in February. I miss the pre-race adrenaline. That addictive sick sensation pumping through my body.

My running coughing attacks remind me that anything can happen. Anything.

But what the hell, run anyhow!

Don’t overthink it.

It’s a simple sentence but one that stopped me in my tracks when I read it.

Don’t overthink it. What do you mean “Don’t overthink it?” How is that even possible? I’m a thinker. It’s what I do.

Weeping Buddha. Bought in Bali a few years ago & which sits on my dressing table. 🤎

My need for escapism is at an all time high. Especially since lockdown has my brain fried.

I’ve gone from days loving being locked up in the solitude known as my office, to other days when I can’t breathe and seek out any excuse to get in my car and drive away, music blaring.

I’ve started training again with running Coach Michelle. It’s been a lifesaver. My only constant in a world gone mad.

Running around a dry & grassy field alone over and over again gives you time to think. X8 laps worth. And my Sunday run turned into a walk when the weight of my thoughts were just too heavy to carry.

  • The COVID case numbers are out of control
  • The economy is shattered
  • Unemployment and desperation is rising
  • Anger. Blame. Hatred. Fear.
  • There’s no end in sight

The exhaustion of trying to live in a state of endless hope has taken its toll on me. I’m losing hope.

I’m tired. Tired of being hopeful on my own. Just for once, I need the freedom to vent. To be angry. To collapse. In safety.

The weight of giving up hope weighs heavily. Because if positive people, like myself, give up, then what?

Not overthinking it is impossible right now.

Is running more addictive than porn, and other questions on my mind during my lockdown runs

It’s day 537353928 of lockdown. Yeah, yeah. We’ve all chirped this corny joke. But it’s true. It’s been long and drawn out and for most runners, the only thing keeping us sane is the 6-9 am exercise slot.

As always, it’s the time alone on the road where my own thoughts (and lately bizarre questions) drown out my heavy breathing.

Speaking of heavy breathing…

The Strava vs. Pornhub strategy is an interesting one. Hear me out.

Pre the early morning exercise allowance, we ran endless paths across our lawns. We trotted up and down our driveways and for some athletes, it meant jogging circles on teeny tiny balconies. But the fact is that even though there’s a global pandemic, you won’t stop runners from doing what they love. Why? Because we’re addicts!

So then my question is: what’s up with Strava? Knowing how important (and addictive) exercise would be to most people globally craving the freedom of outdoors, they’ve made no effort at all to give us free access to their Premium service? Even temporarily until lockdown ends. But now, they’re removing some of the free stuff.

If you compare this to Pornhub who (I heard, *cough*) opened up premium access to its site with this statement, “With nearly one billion people in lockdown across the world because of the coronavirus pandemic, it’s important that we lend a hand and provide them with an enjoyable way to pass the time.”

I’m disappointed in Strava.

I figure it would’ve been such a prime opportunity to let as many people as possible trial the Premium service that they keep trying to promote knowing that should it be worthwhile, we would definitely continue with after lockdown. Or not? It feels like so much else has been offered as free. Free yoga, free gym, free online learning. But to track my 5 km run, nope. 

<Edited: After I posted this blog, I received so much support from the running community, and I realized that perhaps I had not done my homework. It appears that they have extended the free trial, that they’re a small company & I should be supporting small businesses now more than ever.>

But hey, we keep running…

Does anyone else find running with the face mask tough? I can’t breathe properly so I’ve been sticking with the buff since it’s easier but boy does my whole face sweat! Here’s a trick in how to make sure the buff stops sliding down your face…

One more thing…

If I’m the only one who drinks the milk at home, and we’re not getting visitors during the lockdown, surely it’s acceptable for me to drink the milk straight from the bottle? Yes? No? Whatvevs, this is the new norm of lockdown. Pffft.

Running, porn, or milk. No judgment from me. It’s what we need to do to survive COVID-19. I’m sure you’ll agree. 

Been there, got the running vest

I couldn’t wait to share this post with you! Check out my new running vest! Zoom in closer and spot the name above the Randburg Harriers club name. *squeals* Yip! My blog!

I know, awesome, right? When the club secretary said we could have any name printed on our vests, I couldn’t believe my luck! Having the name of my running blog on my running vest just feels like the most perfect spot too.

Yeah, so as you can tell, we’ve moved running clubs and joined Randburg Harriers Running Club. It only made sense. My running coach, Michelle, coaches her runners on Monday & Saturday from Harriers. I’ve been hanging out with the Catch Me If You Can Randburg group on Thursdays. KK and I have been joining the club for their weekend long runs and lately, it feels as if we’re always at the club for something or other. It feels right to support them fully.

We’ve also made loads of friends at the club. What a difference it makes to run with people who stalk you on Strava. *snort*

Speaking of support, I’ve never been one to purchase my race photographs. I cringe when someone uploads them to Facebook and tags me. Until recently…

As a small business owner, I’ve woken up to the fact that when entrepreneurs such as ourselves are supported in this country, there is hope.

At the time of writing this post, road races have been canceled, even time trials and weekend runs at Randburg Harriers are off. That doesn’t help all the people behind the scenes, many of which relied heavily on these events as income. Such as photographers.

So my plea to you is this: consider buying one (or more) of your race photos from SMacPix

Pricing per photo starts at R17 each & there are different sizes to choose from. Ordering is so simple, you can even pay with Zapper & there’s no waiting – the photos are available for download immediately.

Also and perhaps more importantly, don’t abandon your running coach. Use the next few months to reset the goals. Use the “downtime” to focus on all the other aspects of running that we often neglect – strength training, form, mindset.

Take time to think of all the ways you can support others during this time of uncertainty.

And even if you can’t run races, there are so many more ways that running fuels the soul. You need to keep running…

Look at KK! FFS. I wish I looked this good after running a marathon! Seriously dude.

Unsponsored post.