It suddenly hit me the other night that the people I used to call my “Friends” had somehow disappeared from my life. The girls I had matriculated with, the ones who had been with me through my studies and into my marriage, the book clubbers – they’d all gone off and had kids and left me behind. Having made the decision not to have any kids of my own, I guess it was bound to happen.
I’m just not sure why it took me so long to notice it.
It’s as if, once my friends had kids, they also moved into different circles: Moms n Tots, Soccer Moms, Playgroups. My husband (KK) and I were suddenly left off birthday invites. We were suddenly excluded from the weekend plans and when we did get together, we started to have less and less in common with our friends.
KK has been struggling lately as to why I am “never” home. Friday night drinks after work, supper with this one, coffee with that one, evenings spent with ‘the girls from work’, bloggers meet-ups, tweetups… It all came to a head when I sat down and realized his frustration with me being out all the time was that it was happening every week and with people that he had never met.
The fact is that the people that used to be my friends, I hadn’t actually seen for months, even years in some cases. I had started spending more and more time with new friends.
I had also developed networks, relationships and friendships with total strangers through Twitter. In fact, Twitter has introduced me to some of the most fascinating, interesting and amazing people that ordinarily I would never have met. Spending time with them has enriched and changed my life. I didn’t think it was possible that at the age of 36, my circle of friends would have grown like it has. (yes, even if some of them are virtual.)
The ironic thing is that I ran into an old friend this morning. A friend I hadn’t seen in almost 2 years. And it was lovely to hug and catch up, even if it was only 5 minutes.
It made me realize something very special. I realized that I had in fact not “lost” any of my old friends. In my heart, they are all still there. They have built me and molded me into the person I am through the many times we’ve spent together, the laughs, the tears, the trials, the tribulations, the divorces, the marriages, the deaths of loved ones – each one contributing to the person I am today.
I would not be the person I am today had it not been for the lessons each one of them has taught me.
To those of them who happen to read my blog, thanks for the wonderful memories. Maybe we bump into one another sometime soon. Let’s do coffee and have a good laugh.
To those of you I see and speak to everyday, thanks!
I am grateful to have so many friends in my life…