Reacting to change

Posted on November 13, 2012 by Bo

An announcement to my team was made last week which really shook us. In a nutshell, it was one of those ‘glass half empty/glass half full’ kinda announcements. As I looked around the table at my colleagues it was interesting to see how each of them processed the news, each one in such a unique and different way.

The devastated one: Hurt. Gutted. Emotional. Deciding to rather keep quiet or else fear bursting into tears.
The confused one: What do you mean? I’m still not sure what this means? WTH? Wait…I don’t get it.
The delighted one: Yesss! Change is good! I cannot wait to sink my teeth into new projects!
The surprised one: Never saw it coming. Didn’t really care either way. Such is life people.
The fence-sitter: Keeps saying ‘I have my own opinions’ but won’t share.
The summariser: So what you’re saying is that… *echo, echo*
The quiet one: internalizing, listening, watching, waiting.

It was interesting for me to watch how each of them took the news and digested the information. I’ll be honest, I hate change. I really do. But what I’ve realised is that change is normal. In my working environment, it’s constant. You need to worry when things aren’t changing. But it’s the reaction to the changes that is always different and what makes or breaks the steps going forward.

A negative attitude slows down action. All you land up doing is re-hashing everything and going around in circles. A positive attitude is where people start talking about opportunities and the future. This was very apparent to me and the attitude I’ve decided to adopt.

I’m seeing this next phase as a chance for me to ‘re-invent’ myself (again) and I’m quite excited to see where 2013 takes me. If only I could bottle this feeling and pass it around the office.

Running a simple fun run taught me lessons a half marathon never did

Posted on February 20, 2012 by Bo

A week ago, I ran the Pick ‘n Pay Fun Run out at Saheti School. I haven’t run many fun runs before as my focus has been on running the 10kms and half marathons. What I thought would be a quick, simple, unorganised race turned out to be so much more. Not only did I enjoy it more than I thought I would, but I’d like to share three things that stood out for me.

1. Nothing beats watching the sun rising whilst running through lush green suburbs on a fresh Sunday morning. It’s beautiful. I’ve never really taken time to stop and take in that warm sun as it falls on my face as I line up at the start of races. How blessed I am to experience it almost every weekend when we run a race. From now on, I’ll be making a special effort to stop and appreciate it.

2. A fun run is filled with the biggest mix of people I’ve ever encountered, all running towards a common finish. Grannies, children as young as 5, pregnant ladies, runners with dogs on leads, wheelchairs, prams, you name it, they’re there! Even a runner with one leg and on crutches. When people tell me they can’t run, I wish they could see what I saw. There are seriously no excuses in life.

3. I arrived at the start of that race with a charged Garmin, GU’s and butterflies in my stomach. After 10 minutes into the run, I felt kinda silly. The race is just that – fun! Yes, you can speed ahead and get a PB, or you can mill at the back and chat to your friends. It doesn’t matter. No one really bothers with what you’re doing, or your time or how you finish. There isn’t that competitive vibe you feel on the other races. Everyone gets on with their own race in their own time. This was a big learning for me and exactly what I needed to experience. I find I am way too obsessed with my time and everyone else in the half marathons. This was fun!

Sometimes the simplest things in life, like a silly fun run, can make you stop and appreciate the things around you that have actually always been there, but you’ve never really made time to notice before.

Making Christmas mine involves a bit of compromise and effort

Posted on November 28, 2011 by Bo

I dread this time of year. While everyone else around me is excited about the holidays and the countdown to Christmas, for me, it represents the time of year that KK and I argue the most.

The thing is that we’ve both come from very different upbringings where Christmas was celebrated very differently in our families.

His memories of Christmas involve presents around the tree, family photographs, gammon and fruit cake and opening up presents on Christmas eve.

However, I can’t remember my family ever having a Christmas tree. Presents were not a big deal (and some years never even wrapped). I also recall that the fact that my single mom could earn extra money for working overtime on these days meant we usually landed up spending the time at my granny.

Don’t get me wrong. It never bugged me. In fact, this is what I came to know as a fantastic Christmas! This was the norm.

So what’s the problem then? Why do we fight?

In a way, KK is reluctant to give up on his Christmas tradition. In his eyes, it is perfect. This is where the arguments start. I want something of my own. I want my own tradition. I want something uniquely ours. And yet with Christmas eve booked by his family and Christmas day spent split between my mom, stepdad and my dad, there isn’t really time for an ‘our’ Christmas.

I think it’s different when you have kids and you start creating your own traditions. But that’s not going to happen with us. So for the past couple of years, it’s always landed up being a big argument.

So this year, I decided that two things were needed. I needed to back down and accept that KK’s Christmas is important to him and I shouldn’t try change anything. The second realisation is that if I wanted something of my own, I needed to find it or create it.

And so I did..

We made Friday night a ‘romantic, Christmas tree putting up evening’. I booked us out for the evening (so that we didn’t accidentally make Friday night plans with friends), I bought some really yummy snacks on the way home including some wine. I made a delicious supper which we ate outside on the patio, watching the sun set. And then we set out decorating our home in Christmas decorations. Together. Just the two of us while my George Michael CD played in the background.

It was an evening where we celebrate the start of ‘our’ Christmas together and spent time decorating our beautiful home with the most stunning Christmas decorations.

What works is that no one can take this evening away from us. It is ours and is a special evening that we can look forward to every year from now on – building our own yearly tradition.

It takes both a compromise to find a solution and an effort in order to make something work. Sometimes it’s difficult to do, but the rewards are amazing!

The day Rogeema ran for me

Posted on November 13, 2011 by Bo

Rogeema was one of the first people I engaged with on Twitter. It was a rocky start at first because, I mistakenly thought she was a guy and kept reading her name as Roger Kenny. I finally got to meet her in person when she organised a fabulous tweetup just before Two Oceans in April this year. She even managed to get Comrades winner, Stephen Muzhingi, to join us at the tweetup.

From that day, I knew this about Rog. If she puts her mind to something, you had better believe that it will happen.

So when she announced plans that she would be running a half marathon in 135 minutes in my honour, I knew nothing would stop her. Rog had read a previous blog post of mine where I openly blogged about an illness I was suffering with. She then decided that her next race would be dedicated to me. I urge you to read her story here… 135 minutes for Brony.

I’m going to be honest. From the start, I was not too keen on the idea. I felt that although I had blogged about my illness, I was not dying. In fact, further exposure made me incredibly uncomfortable. Exposed. Vulnerable.

Until 07h20 on Saturday morning that is….

I had just completed a 10km race out in Irene. Throughout the entire race, my mind was filled with thoughts about Rogeema. I thought about her blog, her training and the fact that she was out running for me. Every step I took, I thought about her.

As I finished my race, I raced back to the car to get my phone to get updates. Yes, raced. I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. As I saw the many tweets, I started to cry and realised just how much it meant to me, but also to her.

Rog ran her heart out! She did not manage the 135 minutes, but in my mind, it didn’t matter anymore. Her race had been won even before she started! Her time: 2:26 minutes.

Rogeema, words cannot express what you did for me. I am so touched.

Thanks also to these special people:

Morne Botha (@mohebo). I spoke to Morne at Rogeema’s tweetup. It was the most inspirational 5 minutes that pulled me through Two Oceans this year. Morne, do not under-estimate the motivational power you have.

Fadeelah Kenny (@fadeelahk) yesterday, she broke her long-standing PB by 1.5 mins! (2.19 minutes)

Hasanain Abdullah (@theworx) He heard about the 135 mins challenge and decided on the morning to join. His time: 2h16 minutes.

Vaughan McShane (@vaughanmcshane) Vaughan ran his first half marathon in an awesome time of 2h24 minutes. That totally rocks!

Keri Delport (@kez_delport) Ironwoman. Need I say more!

Adele MacCannel (@MissyMac77) who was running with a friend doing his 400^th race! *gulp*

Leigh (@Leighwatermouse) Official cheerleading squad which is sometimes more important that you can imagine. Thanks for your support and kind words!

About Rogeema: Rogeema is an electrical engineer by profession. She is also an ardent karate-ka and is currently at the level of 2^nd dan black belt. Her true passion is developing people and helping them reach their full potential through business, investing, sport, spirituality, personal development and education. She is also active in her community as a human rights activist and serves on the Western Cape committee of Mensa as the editor of The Tablet (quarterly e-zine). I know Rogeema as a runner. Her PB for a half marathon is 02:19:36.

But best of all, Rogeema is my friend!