When runners talk about the Deloitte half marathon, I usually pipe up and say, “I officially came last in that race in 2010” because I did. No, I’m lying. I came second last. KK, who ran the race with me, came last.

Let it be known that the Deloitte 21km race holds some really bad memories for me. It was a race where my loving hubby decided to run with me, hoping that this would help me run quicker if he motivated me along the way. Wrong! We fought the whole way. I don’t think KK has ever felt more frustrated running at my pace (8mins/km when he usually runs at 5mins/km).

In fact, it’s an ugly memory that sticks in my head. After 2010, I made the promise never to run Deloitte half again and stick to the 10km race. But it’s amazing how those memories stay with you.

When we arrived at the race on Saturday, we parked at a different parking spot than normal (this already threw me off). I was niggly because I had not slept well the night before. The queue for the loo was longer than the 10km race itself so I started the race in a bit of a fowl mood. Even once my good running friend Craig aka @biggestbossfan caught up to me (in a sea of thousands, I still don’t know how he finds me!) I could still not shake the wave of negativity that overwhelmed me.

Bottom line: I didn’t want to be there. I kept having flashbacks of that awful 21km race.

It was at the 6km mark that Craig shot off, mumbling something about negative splits (all I heard was the word negative), and I was left on my own. As I started walking, the lead marathon runner came shooting past. Oh my! All around me, the other 10km runners were yelling and cheering him on. It was wonderful!

I suddenly realised that I needed to stop feeling so miserable and get on with it!

It’s the boost I needed. I finished my run. 82 minutes. Pffft! Whatever…

You know, in life, unless you deal with those ugly memories of your past, they will always be there, holding you back. You need to let it go and take what you can from the experience.

I did. From now on, when someone asks me about Deloitte, I’m going to reply with, “Yes, I’ve run Deloitte. The half marathon as well as two 10kms. What a challenging race!”