Why are you so hard on yourself?

Road running is not a team sport. As Professor Tim Noakes points out in “The (bible) Lore of Running”, running is a competition with oneself. As he puts it, “…with team sports, you do not have to admit your imperfections. There is always someone or something else to blame.” But running is different.

Running is highly personal. It’s got nothing to do with anyone else but yourself. In fact, only you know how much training you’ve put in. Only you know what goals you want to achieve. Only you can make it happen. No one else can achieve those goals but you. You are the only person you’re running for and the only person satisfied or not with the performance.

A while back, I found myself explaining to a (non-running) friend about my running and my aims to run faster so that I make the 3 hour cut-off times to most half marathons. She listened patiently but it was her question to me that has been on my mind a lot. She asked, “Why are you so hard on yourself? Why don’t you ever stop and celebrate the fact that you can in fact run so far in the first place?”

I didn’t know the answer…

Being so hard on myself does keep me running and keeps me striving to reach my running goals, but unfortunately it prevents me from enjoying my runs. Majority of the time, I am too obsessed with the negative aspects more than celebrating the small victories of my runs.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been giving it some serious thought. I’ve been working on enjoying the runs more than trying to achieve something. I’ve left my running watch at home when I train and not care if I walk during a race. I haven’t had to worry if it rains and I can’t train. I don’t stress when I choose to rather sleep late than go running.

I’ve started to change the way I view my running. You see, this is what I’ve realised: I am a runner.

I don’t need to run the Comrades marathon to claim to be a runner. I can take a year to train for next year’s Two Oceans and maybe throw in a few other half marathons too. I can call myself a runner, just because I run.

I’ve started to enjoy my runs. I’ve started to have fun. I’ve started to feel victorious in a different way. If I run 5 kms around my neighbourhood, 3kms at the gym or a 10km race on the weekend, I’m running and loving it.

I’m overcoming a big hurdle and it feels great! I’ve finally started to run for myself…

5 thoughts on “Why are you so hard on yourself?

  1. Awesome post. I think what I like about it, is it doesn’t only apply to running, but your path in life. Your goals, your dreams, and what you do about them. Yes, it can become a sort of team sport (if you get married), but ultimately, you are in charge of how far you get, and how you get there.

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  2. Well done Bronwynne, you have got it. Now you enjoy the runs and races without that pressure. That is a brilliant quote by John Bingham, explains it to a T

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  3. I am not a walker, runner, or in fact, any type of exerciser! But I just love reading your blog! Keep them coming 😀

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  4. You are a great runner! Your blogs keep me motivated and also help me to realize that although running is a solo sport it is very much a team effort. I mean that there is a great support group that I draw motivation and inspiration from and you are on the top of that list of supports. Thank you.

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