Lessons from 9/11 about married life

11 years ago today, I was four days away from getting married when the world was changed forever by the fateful events of 9/11. It was a Tuesday. I was 26 years old and about to marry the man of my dreams. I had no idea what awaited me. It’s only now, 11 years later, that I look back at that week with fresh eyes.

Perhaps I’m a little older and wiser, but I realise that there are some valuable lessons for my marriage I have learnt from 9/11.

  • Expect the unexpected. Just like those two planes, sometimes, with no warning at all, problems, issues, even events will hit your marriage with all its might and come out of nowhere. It is usually unexpected. You cannot know what and when something will come which will test your marriage. But it happens.
  • Ensure your marriage is strong enough to withstand the hits. If not, one or even both of you will come crashing down.
  • Through the years, there will be pain, hurt, anger and blame. But it’s important to deal with those feelings and move on. Every relationship goes through the dips. Always re-build something new.
  • Prepare relentlessly. It was New York’s mayor at the time, Rudi Giuliani, who said, “when faced with new and stressful situations, prepare relentlessly”. Giuliani adds, “Don’t assume a damn thing.”  Do not slip into a comfort zone but keep on your toes and keep the relationship alive. Be prepared.
  • Change. Adapt. Or die. The world was forced to change after 9/11. I am a very different woman compared to the girl I was when I got married so many years ago. KK has also changed, but we’ve managed to grow together. Anticipate that each other will change. It’s only normal. It’s a good thing, embrace it.

Time has flown. I cannot believe how quickly 11 years has gone by and how much has happened in that time. We built a house, we bought new cars, we changed jobs, we got two dogs, and we travelled to some wonderful destinations.

I even started running!!

But we also lost Pa as well as Marla. I got diagnosed with a disease and we lost quite a few friends along the way. But through the highs and the lows, I’ve walked every step of the way with you KK. I still love you with all my heart.

Happy Anniversary week my babes. X

10 thoughts on “Lessons from 9/11 about married life

  1. Bron that’s a very true and enlightening post and made me think about “change” and how it’s effected our marriage in positive and negative ways. The one thing that comes to mind is that I’m a very lucky man because even though We have faced and still facing hardships my lovely wife has stuck by me. So thank you for reminding me just how much I love my lovely wife. Long may your joy of being together last.

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  2. Such an awesome post, I know I have found the man of my dreams and one day I hope we do get married too. I hope our relationship is built on as strong a foundation as yours. Happy 13 years of marriage! Xxx

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  3. Awesome post Bron! 🙂
    But sometimes you marry that one horrible person who doesn’t know what it is to fight for anything and they just give up. Well done to the 2 of you. I didn’t marry my soulmate. Looks like you married yours :).

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  4. What a lovely post Bron! Marriage isn’t easy but if the foundation is strong and you don’t give up, I believe it will stand the test of time.

    PS You were a beautiful bride.

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  5. Congratulations on your 11 year anniversary! Marriage is definitely not easy, and as you so truthfully say – partners change, they grow, and things happen that we can’t control. There are days when we don’t like each other a whole lot, but we will always love each – we stand by each other through thick and thin, good times and bad. You guys make a beautiful couple! Wishing you lots of good changes, surprises and happiness over the next 11 🙂

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