Dear Two Oceans Half Marathon… we need to talk.

Posted on February 27, 2013 by Bo

Dear Two Oceans Half Marathon,

Like most runners, I fell in love with you right from the start. You were the dream race, the one everyone spoke about. When my running training started at the beginning of each year, it would be centred around you as the goal date, the goal race. All the reading I did was about you. All the training I did was for you. In terms of running, you were ‘my everything’.

But since 2010, things between us started to go wrong. You started to see more people and the entries just grew and grew. The problem is that with 16 000 runners, it makes it that much tougher for me to get over that starting mat without losing at least 10 minutes. I don’t exactly have 10 minutes to spare because, as you know, I run at 8 minutes per km and this cuts it fine with a 3 hour cut off time. It’s funny because ever since I started running, I’ve allowed your 3 hour cut off time to dictate my runs and my pace to the extent that I feel absolutely miserable when I don’t run my half marathons under 3 hours.

I guess that’s my point. How you make me feel. Like any woman in an abusive relationship, I forgave you because I ‘loved’ you. I even started this blog about ‘Keeping up’ because I was so desperate to please you. But if I have to be honest with myself, you make me feel like a failure, inadequate, pathetic. You stress me out and instead of enjoying the run, I keep thinking that I will fail. I keep wanting to quit every single day but fear that other runners will judge me.

I don’t feel like that when I run other races. In fact, since January, I’ve noticed a change within me. I started to like running half marathons and not be stressed about the time. I started to enjoy the distance. I’ve loved every kilometre and when I’ve crossed the finish line, I’ve been so damn proud of myself. Proud because I am able to run 21.1km. So far, I’ve run 3 half marathon races this year and each one has taken me over 3 hours, but you know what, it didn’t matter. I have fallen in love with my running again!

So, I think what I’m trying to say is … it’s not you, it’s me. It’s taken me 4 years to realize that running is supposed to be fun. It’s taken me so many races to finally acknowledge that I run at 8 minutes per km and I’m okay with that. I watch so many other runners crossing that finish line after me with smiles on their faces. I want to be one of those runners. I want to be content and at peace and not carry around this huge burden.

So it’s good bye. We can still be friends and I will see you for the 8km run on Good Friday. But as far as any long term commitment, you’ve taken up way too much of my time and energy (both mentally & physically) already. I’m moving on.

Bronwynne

What the hell is wrong with people?

Posted on February 25, 2013 by Bo

At gym recently, I accidentally stepped on to a moving treadmill and took a huge fall. I grazed my hands, my knees and my shoulder. I have no recollection of how it happened because I fell so quickly (I hope there’s no YouTube video out there). The sad thing is that when it happened, no one came to help me. In fact, people even walked past as though I was invisible. Have we really become so detached from one another that we can’t be bothered to help one another? Are people so concerned about minding their own business that they choose to ignore someone who may need help? Odd.

I was driving to work the other day and the newspaper seller was opening a sucker. As he popped it into his mouth, he threw the wrapper on the floor. I stopped, opened my window and asked him to pick it up. He laughed in my face and walked away. It put me in such a bad mood all day long. Do people not care?

People you see at the office every single day who pack up their bags at the end of the day and walk out without saying goodbye. I was in the lifts and started chatting to a colleague recently. When the lift doors opened, she miraculously got super-charged legs and walked off at high speed without me. Huh? Was it something I said? Have basic manners gone out the window? Are we becoming socially awkward around one another?

A good friend of mine was in a coma in hospital a few weeks back. As he recovered, I asked him if mutual friends of ours knew what happened, he answered, “It’s awkward. How do I tell them? Do I just put it on Facebook? I don’t really know how to bring it up.” Sometimes we announce the most ‘arb’ details on social media, such as what we ate for dinner or what time we go to bed. But alerting people of something more serious just seems out of place. How did we do it in the old days?

And don’t get me started on emails. Does anyone bother to reply to emails anymore? It feels as if I send emails into a dark abyss and no one ever acknowledges what I say or send them. I only realized the email system was down after a whole week last week after supplier emails were not coming through. I had concluded that they were incompetent and they thought that I was ignoring them. No, the emails just weren’t coming through but no one picked up a phone to check.

Some days all I do is shake my head and wonder… what the hell has gone wrong? Is this the new norm?

Running through my weeks…

Posted on February 22, 2013 by Bo

1. Beautiful bridesmaid bouquet from Estie & Hennou’s wedding. 2. Valentine’s Day cupcakes dropped off on our desks. 3. Reading magazines on my bed on a lazy Friday afternoon. 4. Lunch at Primi with KK. 5. Visiting baby Aaliyah. 6. Homemade chicken pies (highlight of my week!). 7. Red envelope to celebrate Chinese New Year from Carston Sing. 8. ‘Making Way’ art exhibition at Standard Bank Gallery. 9. Driving home through hectic thunderstorms.

Happy Valentine’s run to me!

Posted on February 21, 2013 by Bo

5 years ago, I ran my very first 10km road race. It was the Randburg Valentine’s Night Race at Randburg Harriers. My time: 87 minutes.

Since that very first night in 2008, I’ve run over 17 half marathons, over twenty 10km races and numerous 5km ones. Last week I went back and ran the race that started it all…

Running through the dark streets, I was filled with emotion. I was over-whelmed at the fact that I had come so far. But a part of me was also angry because I realized that I have forgotten about the journey that I have taken to get where I am. From never having run before in my life to being able to manage running 21.1kms.

It dawned on me that I am so hard on myself and so unforgiving when I don’t make a cut-off time or run as fast as I’d like to. I have stopped giving myself any credit. I have stopped being proud of my accomplishments and I’ve only focused on the goals instead of the achievements.

Running the race again was much needed therapy because it reminded me that I am capable of doing this. Of running. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and stop making excuses.

Yes, I run at 8 minutes/km. You damn right I do! And I can do that for 5km, 10km and even 21.1kms straight!