About Bo

Dog lover. Runner. Although very slowly. Keeping up with the stresses of running and life...

Being a real friend in an online world

Posted on November 22, 2011 by Bo

I’ve come to realise that as I grow older, my definition of the word ‘friend’ is changing. When I was younger, I was fortunate enough to have a tight bunch of school friends who were pretty much attached at the hip. It formed the foundation of what I considered “best friends” and I am so blessed that 23 years later, I am still in contact with two of them.

What they have taught me is that even though you move away to another country, and even though your title of wife is now extended to mother, you are still the same person and can still connect as a friend.

But this is in the real world…

With our lives so dictated by technology around us, I am yet to work out the rules of engagement for online friendships.

You see, I was horribly shaken two weeks ago when a “friend” I had gotten to know well, suddenly “disappeared” without as much of an explanation or a simple goodbye.

(wait…allow me to put this in to context.)

I met this person via Twitter. An amazing person with loads of energy, positive vibes and incredible stories, we chatted often and shared pictures of our children (read: dogs). In April this year, we even met for lunch and took the virtual friendship into the real world.

Two weeks ago, he suspended his Twitter account. No explanation, no goodbye. Just gone…

I am not the only one who has been wondering where he disappeared to so I don’t take it personally. It’s just that I don’t have any of his contact details. Twitter was our only means of contact so I am unable to get hold of him. (Gee, how the world has changed…)

I guess this means the friendship is over. *sob*

I must admit, I have tried to make sense of it all. I have analysed in my head what friendship means to people on social media platforms in today’s day and age. Is it really all that fickle? Do people take friendship that lightly and move on so easily?

I certainly don’t. But am I therefore investing too much in to it?

In a world were some people have over 1 000 “friends” on Facebook, my only conclusion is that in the virtual world, the word friendship and what it means to be a friend is different for everyone. It appears to be diluted. It’s not as stable or concrete. It’s used quite loosely.

Regardless of this and how society’s definition of friendship is changing, there’s one thing I know: I’ve met some incredible people via Twitter. We’ve shared some amazing moments and fun times. And yes, according to my definition, I consider them my friends…

Cycle Challenge Sunday memories…

Posted on November 20, 2011 by Bo

As typical Jo’burgers, KK and I have a wonderful tradition of supporting the 94.7 Cycle Challenge every year. We carry our camper chairs and cooler box up to the main road and sit cheering on the cyclists as they pass.

The race holds a special place in KK’s heart. He has successfully completed the race 7 times before and so while he watches the riders, he will repeatedly suggest that he will attempt to do it again next year.

It doesn’t really appeal much to me. Except for the fact that I get quite emotional just watching the race unfold and exactly how special it is to so many cyclists…

Some of my favourites parts of the day:

Lying in bed and hearing the helicopter fly over our house just before 7am and knowing the front riders are passing through my hood.
Packing a cooler box, not forgetting the sammies from Woolies we bought the day before in preparation.
Walking up the road and greeting all the neighbours (and the furry ones).
The cheering of people when they spot their friends and family passing and handing them beers and chocolates.
Tapping our feet to the music from God First church who always come out to support. This year, they made free boerie rolls and bacon rolls with drinks for everyone.
Seeing cyclists helping each other up the uphills by giving each other a push on the back.
All the different, crazy outfits that some cyclists wear.
The inspirational cyclists riding for CHOC in the hot, cow outfits.
The disappointed looks of the cyclists on the back of the sweeper van. Sorry guys!

It’s truly one of my favourite days and as we make our way back home, seeing the cops opening up the streets to traffic, it’s great to know that the event has the support of so many in Jo’burg.

I love this city!

Not fast enough. Not strong enough. Not good enough – The voice said.

Posted on November 16, 2011 by Bo

“Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit.” – @Runningquotes

As much as I’d like to think that the physical training I have done in the past few weeks has been enough, running a race on Saturday reminded me that the mental training is far from good enough to get me through a half marathon. In fact, for most of Saturday’s race, that little voice in my head made that 10km race a very long and difficult run.

The race was the annual Liqui-Fruit 10/21.1km race in Irene where over 5 000 runners make their way through the Agricultural grounds. It is definitely one of my favorite races. Not only do you get a very colorful, bright t-shirt, but the race winds its way past the cows and sheep. I love cows. For me, it signaled my first official race counting down to the Two Oceans 2012 half marathon – a race I had entered on Wednesday.

Before I set off, I had calculated in my mind that I wanted to do a time of 1:18. seeing as though I had improved on my time quite dramatically since 2008. (1:18 – 2010, 1:26 – 2009, 1:30 – 2008) The field was massive and as the gun went off, it took almost 10 minutes to get through the first 1km. For those that know the route, as you get to the 2km mark and look ahead, you see a string of runners ahead of you in the distance and you realize just how many people are running the race, as well as how fast the front runners are. I was doing quite well and was at some stages running under the 8km/min mark.

Mentally, I have to do 7kms in under an hour. This is important as it marks the fact that if I can do that, I will manage to make cut off time of 3 hours for a half marathon. So as I past the 7km mark in 57mins, I was smiling.

The last 3kms of the race are quite hilly. This is where I started to struggle and where that voice of self doubt reared its ugly head. No matter how hard I tried, I kept wondering just how I would be able to finish a half marathon when my legs felt so tired after 7kms. The 21.1km runners had started to pass me by now on their way to the finish, and as I cheered them on as they passed me, I kept wondering how it was possible that they were doing double the distance than I was, and in half the time. Some of the super fit Walk/Run For Life ladies also started to pass me. You see, on the uphills, they are quite strong. *damn Walkers!*

I was never really good at Maths in school. But it’s funny how I am able to work out, to the second, how long it would take me to do 3kms and at what pace and whether or not I would be finished in under 80 mins. I started to get slower and slower.

Thoughts of Two Oceans were flooding my head and I started to remember the stress of it all. Standing at 4am at the start line, the congestion of the first km, the uphill of Southern Cross, the irritating Old Mutual pom pom girls near University Drive. But most of all, the thought that I was not yet strong enough to tackle long distances.

I don’t run well under stress. That little voice became too much for me and on the last km, I walked… I thought, stuff it. I’m not going to make 80mins. I am therefore not running in under 8mins/km. I am a failure.

My finishing time: 1:82. I was very disappointed.

That little voice in my head is so powerful sometimes. And the worst part is that I allow it to own me… Not only with my running, but also with my self-confidence in general.

Lately, having to make some big decisions in my career and all I can think of is that I am not good enough. I keep doubting my abilities. I keep making excuses. I find I am stressing myself out about making decisions because I am too scared that I will fail.

There are 142 days left until Two Oceans. 142 days left to train not only my body, but especially my mind into believing I can do it.

Because I know I can…(~~I think~~).

Running as one

Posted on November 13, 2011 by Bo

I’m really jealous of KK. He has a dedicated running partner who not only runs his pace, but is also his best friend.

KK and DSM have been best friends since 1988. They both went to Wits together, studied engineering and have remained friends ever since. They’ve been each other’s best men, mentor and confident ever since I can remember. In fact, they still speak to each other when they drive home from work almost every day. They’ve supported each other through the good times as well as the bad.

They think alike. They do things the same way. But through it all, they are inseparable.

This is never more evident than when you observe their running.

You see, they have been running partners for many years. Not only do they train together but also run every race together.

They dedicate every Tuesday, Thursday and Sundays to their training. They support each other during races, physically and mentally.

When KK has a bad run, DSM will slow down the pace and get KK to the finish line. When DSM struggles up the hills, KK pushes him. They set the same goals. They run the same race. They run as one.

Running alone is difficult. Pushing yourself is tough. Ask me, I know.

Some races require that extra something and if you have someone who wants you to achieve as much as you want them to, you’re already half way to that finish line.

It’s like that in life too…

We all have our own races to run. But without support, some of us fail to cross that finish line.