Category Archives: My Friends

The day Rogeema ran for me

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Rogeema was one of the first people I engaged with on Twitter. It was a rocky start at first because, I mistakenly thought she was a guy and kept reading her name as Roger Kenny. I finally got to meet her in person when she organised a fabulous tweetup just before Two Oceans in April this year. She even managed to get Comrades winner, Stephen Muzhingi, to join us at the tweetup.

From that day, I knew this about Rog. If she puts her mind to something, you had better believe that it will happen.

So when she announced plans that she would be running a half marathon in 135 minutes in my honour, I knew nothing would stop her. Rog had read a previous blog post of mine where I openly blogged about an illness I was suffering with. She then decided that her next race would be dedicated to me. I urge you to read her story here… 135 minutes for Brony.

I’m going to be honest. From the start, I was not too keen on the idea. I felt that although I had blogged about my illness, I was not dying. In fact, further exposure made me incredibly uncomfortable. Exposed. Vulnerable.

Until 07h20 on Saturday morning that is….

I had just completed a 10km race out in Irene. Throughout the entire race, my mind was filled with thoughts about Rogeema. I thought about her blog, her training and the fact that she was out running for me. Every step I took, I thought about her.

As I finished my race, I raced back to the car to get my phone to get updates. Yes, raced. I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. As I saw the many tweets, I started to cry and realised just how much it meant to me, but also to her.

Rog ran her heart out! She did not manage the 135 minutes, but in my mind, it didn’t matter anymore. Her race had been won even before she started! Her time: 2:26 minutes.

Rogeema, words cannot express what you did for me. I am so touched.

Thanks also to these special people:

Morne Botha (@mohebo). I spoke to Morne at Rogeema’s tweetup. It was the most inspirational 5 minutes that pulled me through Two Oceans this year. Morne, do not under-estimate the motivational power you have.

Fadeelah Kenny (@fadeelahk) yesterday, she broke her long-standing PB by 1.5 mins! (2.19 minutes)

Hasanain Abdullah (@theworx) He heard about the 135 mins challenge and decided on the morning to join. His time: 2h16 minutes.

Vaughan McShane (@vaughanmcshane) Vaughan ran his first half marathon in an awesome time of 2h24 minutes. That totally rocks!

Keri Delport (@kez_delport)  Ironwoman. Need I say more!

Adele MacCannel (@MissyMac77) who was running with a friend doing his 400th race! *gulp*

Leigh (@Leighwatermouse) Official cheerleading squad which is sometimes more important that you can imagine. Thanks for your support and kind words!

About Rogeema: Rogeema is an electrical engineer by profession. She is also an ardent karate-ka and is currently at the level of 2nd dan black belt. Her true passion is developing people and helping them reach their full potential through business, investing, sport, spirituality, personal development and education. She is also active in her community as a human rights activist and serves on the Western Cape committee of Mensa as the editor of The Tablet (quarterly e-zine). I know Rogeema as a runner. Her PB for a half marathon is 02:19:36.

But best of all, Rogeema is my friend!

My friend Conrad

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If you had told me 20 years ago that today, one of my best friends would be a tall, skinny, gay Afrikaans guy, I would never have believed you. You see, I grew up in a fairly conservative household. With a charismatic upbringing and a tight bunch of school friends, I never questioned anyone else’s views and was rarely exposed to people “different” than myself.

Until I met Conrad …

Just writing about him makes me smile at all the many times he has made me laugh. He has an incredible sense of dry humour and will often say the funniest things out of the blue that have me in stitches for hours.

I trust Conrad. He is one of the very few people I trust and believe me, there aren’t many. He is someone who I can tell absolutely anything to without being judged and he will give me advice based on what is best for me, not what he thinks I want to hear. Too often, I’ve been in a crisis situation and called on his help and he’s been there.

I can also be completely open and honest with him. Such as the time KK and I went to see the acclaimed production of Cats, and we just didn’t “get it”. I bumped into Conrad during the interval and as he looked at me, he knew. He just smiled and said, “Well at least you aren’t faking it like most people here.”

Conrad ‘hears’ me. There aren’t that many people who can listen to your conversation and actually pick out exactly what it is that’s really bugging you. He’s good at this.

He makes me think about the difficult questions and forces me to at least take a stand with issues.

Perhaps one of the biggest lessons he’s taught me is this:

Just because people are not the same as you, or think the same as you, or look and act or dress the same as you, does not mean that they are wrong and that you are right. 

In fact, by being friends with someone so different to yourself can actually open your eyes to views about life that you would never have thought about or have had a chance to think about.

And since meeting him, I’ve had the opportunity to do this often which has helped me grow as a person.

I am lucky to have a friend like him in my life.

Thank-you Conrad.

My friends are hurting…

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I suddenly realised the other day that my friends are hurting. They are sad. They are stressed out. Their hearts are shattered. They have the world on their shoulders. As much as they smile and laugh and try to cover up, deep down below the surface, they are all dealing with issues that are causing them great pain and unhappiness.

I sat down and wrote a list of what some of them are dealing with right now: Unhappy marriage, sick child, job strain, family crisis, unexplained body pains, unemployment, death of a loved one, depression, dying pet, relationship breakup, loneliness. It’s hectic!

These are serious, heavy issues. It’s no wonder a friend confided in me that she is too tired of it all and wishes she could just go sleep and never have to wake up again. 

I was once told that it is wrong to think that only some people are hurting and that everyone else is happy. Because deep down, every single person is dealing with that one issue that is consuming them all day (and night) long. It makes sense now. 

It hurts me to see my friends hurting, knowing that in most cases, there’s nothing I can do. It hurts me to know that for some of my friends, they see no solution, no positive outcome, no escape, no end in sight. 

If only my friends knew how much they get me through my day. If only they knew the strength they give me to carry on. If only they knew that the strain and stress of life is made that much more bearable, just by knowing that they are there for me.

We all hurt … if only they knew.

 

What’s the point of a formal lounge anyhow?

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One of my favourite rooms in my house is my formal lounge. It’s a beautiful room where the afternoon sun steams in and makes the wall colour change from shades of cream to light stone. It has one of the best quality leather lounge suites (which we spent a small fortune on) with a stunning Nguni skin on the floor and doors which open out onto the pool area. 

Fabulous paintings by South African artists hang on the wall and on the main wall, a collage of family photographs is spread out. There are some really special ones too, including my grandparents wedding photograph of them in their Salvation Army uniforms (I kid you not!). There’s even one of my granny’s standard 3 school photo. My head floods with special memories when I stare at all those photographs.

The sad irony is that it’s the one room that I never use. In fact, in the last 8 years of living in our house, not once have we made use of this lounge. Never! It’s crazy!

We built our house off-plan and at that stage, majority of our friends were in the same life stage and doing the same thing. Building or renovating their houses. We all made sure we included a formal lounge. In fact, paging through copies of décor magazines, it just seemed like the “right thing” to have.

Years down the line, I am not sure that I understand the need for a formal lounge.

We rarely get visitors and even the ones that do come around I’ve always considered never “that important” that they need to be entertained in such a formal room. In fact, if our families do visit, they would never be “allowed” to use the lounge because they are not “important enough”. (and no, it’s got nothing to do with the fact that they do not use coasters)

What the hell does it all really mean? It hurts me to realize that one of the best rooms in my house, I don’t even share with the most important and special people in my life? That is wrong. Surely that’s not the way I should be treating my friends and loved ones? Isn’t everyone that comes to visit worth only the best I can give them? Would I not want to make everyone that comes to visit feel as important as possible?

So my formal lounge gathers dust. My maid religiously cleans it every week. And I have the sneaky suspicion that Annie and Emma (my dogs) sleep on the Nguni in the sun during the day. Buggers!

What a waste…

I think on Sunday, I will go read my book in the formal lounge. I’ll kick off my shoes, put my feet up and take my afternoon nap in the sun, surrounded by all those wonderful photographs. Sounds like a plan!

And the next time we have visitors, even if it is family *gasp*, that’s where we’ll be sitting! For a few minutes anyhow…