My idea of winning is different to yours.

I’ve got a problem with people who think I am uncompetitive. I am. In fact I am very competitive. I hate losing. But what I’ve faced my entire life is other people thinking that because I am not a pro at what I do, that I don’t want to win.

When I was in high school, I was in the B side of the netball team. Sometimes, I got pushed down to reserve for the B team because there were other girls who played better than me. At least I got to play.

When I left high school, I tried my hand at action cricket. I was dropped off the team because I couldn’t hit the ball. I guess that’s important, right?

A few years later, I played action netball with a group of friends. The team eventually asked me to leave because we weren’t winning our games and it was my fault. They refused to continue playing unless I left the team. (keywords: team & friends). I gracefully walked away even though it hurt me big time.

Lately at gym, when I am training with my personal trainer, she will often give me lighter weights than I (think) I am capable of lifting. In addition, she tells me to do all my push-ups on my knees. I feel like a real girl.

Just the other day, someone was telling me that on their very first run, they ran 6 minutes per km and questioned me about my running and if I was working my pacing out right. Seriously? After 4 years of running?

I’ve pretty much gone through my whole life being judged by other people who decide that I am not strong enough, fast enough, or good enough. Do they realise that I am giving it my best shot? Why is it that others presume that because I am not winning any games or races or running as fast as them that I am not wanting to win?

Maybe competing and winning means something completely different to me. Like not quitting when others don’t give me a chance?