About Bo

Dog lover. Runner. Although very slowly. Keeping up with the stresses of running and life...

Why are you so hard on yourself?

Posted on March 1, 2012 by Bo

Road running is not a team sport. As Professor Tim Noakes points out in “The ~~(bible)~~ Lore of Running”, running is a competition with oneself. As he puts it, “…with team sports, you do not have to admit your imperfections. There is always someone or something else to blame.” But running is different.

Running is highly personal. It’s got nothing to do with anyone else but yourself. In fact, only you know how much training you’ve put in. Only you know what goals you want to achieve. Only you can make it happen. No one else can achieve those goals but you. You are the only person you’re running for and the only person satisfied or not with the performance.

A while back, I found myself explaining to a (non-running) friend about my running and my aims to run faster so that I make the 3 hour cut-off times to most half marathons. She listened patiently but it was her question to me that has been on my mind a lot. She asked, “Why are you so hard on yourself? Why don’t you ever stop and celebrate the fact that you can in fact run so far in the first place?”

I didn’t know the answer…

Being so hard on myself does keep me running and keeps me striving to reach my running goals, but unfortunately it prevents me from enjoying my runs. Majority of the time, I am too obsessed with the negative aspects more than celebrating the small victories of my runs.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been giving it some serious thought. I’ve been working on enjoying the runs more than trying to achieve something. I’ve left my running watch at home when I train and not care if I walk during a race. I haven’t had to worry if it rains and I can’t train. I don’t stress when I choose to rather sleep late than go running.

I’ve started to change the way I view my running. You see, this is what I’ve realised: I am a runner.

I don’t need to run the Comrades marathon to claim to be a runner. I can take a year to train for next year’s Two Oceans and maybe throw in a few other half marathons too. I can call myself a runner, just because I run.

I’ve started to enjoy my runs. I’ve started to have fun. I’ve started to feel victorious in a different way. If I run 5 kms around my neighbourhood, 3kms at the gym or a 10km race on the weekend, I’m running and loving it.

I’m overcoming a big hurdle and it feels great! I’ve finally started to run for myself…

That extra baggage can get really heavy unless you let it go…

Posted on February 27, 2012 by Bo

When runners talk about the Deloitte half marathon, I usually pipe up and say, “I officially came last in that race in 2010” because I did. No, I’m lying. I came second last. KK, who ran the race with me, came last.

Let it be known that the Deloitte 21km race holds some really bad memories for me. It was a race where my loving hubby decided to run with me, hoping that this would help me run quicker if he motivated me along the way. Wrong! We fought the whole way. I don’t think KK has ever felt more frustrated running at my pace (8mins/km when he usually runs at 5mins/km).

In fact, it’s an ugly memory that sticks in my head. After 2010, I made the promise never to run Deloitte half again and stick to the 10km race. But it’s amazing how those memories stay with you.

When we arrived at the race on Saturday, we parked at a different parking spot than normal (this already threw me off). I was niggly because I had not slept well the night before. The queue for the loo was longer than the 10km race itself so I started the race in a bit of a fowl mood. Even once my good running friend Craig aka @biggestbossfan caught up to me (in a sea of thousands, I still don’t know how he finds me!) I could still not shake the wave of negativity that overwhelmed me.

Bottom line: I didn’t want to be there. I kept having flashbacks of that awful 21km race.

It was at the 6km mark that Craig shot off, mumbling something about negative splits (all I heard was the word negative), and I was left on my own. As I started walking, the lead marathon runner came shooting past. Oh my! All around me, the other 10km runners were yelling and cheering him on. It was wonderful!

I suddenly realised that I needed to stop feeling so miserable and get on with it!

It’s the boost I needed. I finished my run. 82 minutes. Pffft! Whatever…

You know, in life, unless you deal with those ugly memories of your past, they will always be there, holding you back. You need to let it go and take what you can from the experience.

I did. From now on, when someone asks me about Deloitte, I’m going to reply with, “Yes, I’ve run Deloitte. The half marathon as well as two 10kms. What a challenging race!”

We’re all so different. Keep running.

Posted on February 23, 2012 by Bo

I was sitting in a team meeting on Tuesday engrossed in a discussion about diversity and culture and how it’s important to understand each and every individual and just how different we all are.

It was a late afternoon meeting and I kept checking my watch hoping the meeting would end early enough for me to get home and run. My mind wandered off and I secretly checked my Twitter timeline to see what everyone was up to.

As I scrolled through my list of Twunners (runners on Twitter), I saw the tweets about afternoon training sessions, updates on evening time trials and even some blogs posts about the Pirates 21km and Peninsula Marathon from the weekend.

It’s then that I made the link between the discussion focussing on diversity, and my thoughts about running. We’re all different. As individuals, as work colleagues and as runners.

I often make the mistake of comparing myself to other runners, particularly when it comes to my pace, the distances I run and even training methods. But I shouldn’t.

You see, just as in life, every individual is different and so too are runners.

Some are lightning fast, others are slow. Some like to incorporate training sessions at the gym, others like to do track work at athletic clubs. Some runners wake up to run at 4am, others prefer to run in the evenings.

Some runners are able to run 21kms in under 1.5 hours, others do it in 3 hours.

The point is, we might all fall under the category of runners but we’re all so very different. I need to remind myself of that next time I compare my running with other runners (and walkers).

The focus should be on me. What’s my PB (personal best), what’s my PW (personal worst). How am I doing? Am I improving? Am I having fun? Am I reaching my goals? Because that’s what counts.

Blue sees yellow

Posted on February 21, 2012 by Bo

I was quite surprised last year after completing one of those ‘colour profiles’ to discover that I am in fact a Blue person and not a Yellow person at all. Blue meaning I’m quite analytical (which I am) and Yellow meaning people’s person (which I really thought I was).

I guess I can’t be both and my Blue is much stronger than my Yellow, yet some days when I sit at my desk and chat to my fellow colleagues, I have to question the analysis. You see, I find that I really am a people’s person and I’m able to “see” what some of my colleagues around me can’t.

While my colleagues walk around the office with their serious faces on and in business mode, in my mind I am often wondering if they aren’t thousands of miles away…

If I look around me, I see:

An artist: She paints the most beautiful paintings. It’s a reflection of her heart and her strong values. She never speaks unkindly about anyone. Ever! But lately I see her face a picture of sadness. I know why and I feel helpless. As long as she knows I am there for her while she is trapped.

A teacher: I discovered the other day that she teaches Sunday School at her church. You don’t get a greater calling than to teach kids God’s Will. It makes sense now when I watch her at work. She’s a soft-spoken, gentle soul. I see how the stress sometimes gets to her and wears her down.

A good wife: She upholds the highest standards both as a mother as well as a wife. Having made the decision not to have children, I somehow love listening to her stories. I also see when she shakes her finger at me when I moan about having family over or my grumpiness about household chores. The respect she shows for her husband, family and her role in the home is honourable.

A sunflower: She makes me love this country. She makes me love life. She makes me never want to talk about negative things, only good things. She is a bundle of energy and fun. She has also taught me about work – life balance and to pack up and leave the office in 5 minutes flat. She knows how to work hard and play harder!