Dear Two Oceans Half Marathon… we need to talk.

Posted on February 27, 2013 by Bo

Dear Two Oceans Half Marathon,

Like most runners, I fell in love with you right from the start. You were the dream race, the one everyone spoke about. When my running training started at the beginning of each year, it would be centred around you as the goal date, the goal race. All the reading I did was about you. All the training I did was for you. In terms of running, you were ‘my everything’.

But since 2010, things between us started to go wrong. You started to see more people and the entries just grew and grew. The problem is that with 16 000 runners, it makes it that much tougher for me to get over that starting mat without losing at least 10 minutes. I don’t exactly have 10 minutes to spare because, as you know, I run at 8 minutes per km and this cuts it fine with a 3 hour cut off time. It’s funny because ever since I started running, I’ve allowed your 3 hour cut off time to dictate my runs and my pace to the extent that I feel absolutely miserable when I don’t run my half marathons under 3 hours.

I guess that’s my point. How you make me feel. Like any woman in an abusive relationship, I forgave you because I ‘loved’ you. I even started this blog about ‘Keeping up’ because I was so desperate to please you. But if I have to be honest with myself, you make me feel like a failure, inadequate, pathetic. You stress me out and instead of enjoying the run, I keep thinking that I will fail. I keep wanting to quit every single day but fear that other runners will judge me.

I don’t feel like that when I run other races. In fact, since January, I’ve noticed a change within me. I started to like running half marathons and not be stressed about the time. I started to enjoy the distance. I’ve loved every kilometre and when I’ve crossed the finish line, I’ve been so damn proud of myself. Proud because I am able to run 21.1km. So far, I’ve run 3 half marathon races this year and each one has taken me over 3 hours, but you know what, it didn’t matter. I have fallen in love with my running again!

So, I think what I’m trying to say is … it’s not you, it’s me. It’s taken me 4 years to realize that running is supposed to be fun. It’s taken me so many races to finally acknowledge that I run at 8 minutes per km and I’m okay with that. I watch so many other runners crossing that finish line after me with smiles on their faces. I want to be one of those runners. I want to be content and at peace and not carry around this huge burden.

So it’s good bye. We can still be friends and I will see you for the 8km run on Good Friday. But as far as any long term commitment, you’ve taken up way too much of my time and energy (both mentally & physically) already. I’m moving on.

Bronwynne

Happy Valentine’s run to me!

Posted on February 21, 2013 by Bo

5 years ago, I ran my very first 10km road race. It was the Randburg Valentine’s Night Race at Randburg Harriers. My time: 87 minutes.

Since that very first night in 2008, I’ve run over 17 half marathons, over twenty 10km races and numerous 5km ones. Last week I went back and ran the race that started it all…

Running through the dark streets, I was filled with emotion. I was over-whelmed at the fact that I had come so far. But a part of me was also angry because I realized that I have forgotten about the journey that I have taken to get where I am. From never having run before in my life to being able to manage running 21.1kms.

It dawned on me that I am so hard on myself and so unforgiving when I don’t make a cut-off time or run as fast as I’d like to. I have stopped giving myself any credit. I have stopped being proud of my accomplishments and I’ve only focused on the goals instead of the achievements.

Running the race again was much needed therapy because it reminded me that I am capable of doing this. Of running. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and stop making excuses.

Yes, I run at 8 minutes/km. You damn right I do! And I can do that for 5km, 10km and even 21.1kms straight!

Thoughts from a race – #picknpayhalfmarathon

Posted on February 11, 2013 by Bo

The Pick ‘n Pay road race is one of my favourite races. I’ve completed the half marathon three times and last year, I enjoyed the 8km fun run. Looking back, there are always moments during a race which stand out for me. Here are the ones from this particular race:

At 15 minutes before the race started, there were no queues at the loo’s. Bonus!
Even if I thought we were standing close to the front of the start pack, when the race started, it looked like a kilometer of runners stretched out in front of us.
I have started to recognise the same faces from previous races and it’s great to say hello as we head on out.
Another runner stopped me as we headed close to the 3 km mark and told me she remembered me so clearly from the Johnson Crane race. (That’s all she said? I hope it was a good thing.)
You get water points and you get water points. But two water points on this race rocked!
Having KK meet me at the 19km mark to run me to the finish line – Wonderful! I was filled with emotion.
A girl who had run slightly ahead of me the entire way slowed down in the last kilometer. I pushed her in front of me when we got to the field. It’s only right that she deserved to finish the race ahead of me.
Don’t under-estimate the awesomeness of a hotdog after running 21.1km!

If you ran and would like to add to my list, feel free to do so.

See you next year Pick ‘n Pay!

Keep up. This is my race.

Posted on February 6, 2013 by Bo

It gets to that point of any road race where the elite runners shoot off, the slower runners / walkers start lagging behind me and I find my spot among others who run/walk at the same pace as what I do.

Running a 21.1km race alone is tough. There’s no one to chat to. There’s no one to push you and no one but yourself to keep you motivated. So every now and then, I look around and strike up a conversation with those around me. The thinking is that we must* be doing the same pace so we might as well get to the finish line together. But that’s not always right. I learnt this lesson during the recent Johnson Crane half marathon.

It was close to the 14km mark and I found myself running next to a guy who ‘appeared’ to be running at 8mins/km (my pace). I was doing a run/walk strategy of 800m run/200m walk at the time and he joined in. We chatted away and my spirits lifted as I started to think that we would get each other to the end. It wasn’t meant to be. He started to struggle on the 800m runs and requested we walk a lot sooner. I gave in too easily and we landed up walking 800m and running 200m for about 2kms. But eventually I realized that he was holding me back so I waved goodbye and ran off.

Reflecting on the race (and analyzing as I do), I realized that it was really great to run a part of the race with him. I enjoyed it. It’s the one thing I long for is a running partner. But another part of me acknowledges that he was not right for me and was slowing me down. It just shows how quickly my running strategy changed to accommodate someone else. It was a horrible feeling leaving this poor guy behind, but I had to do it.

How quickly in life we accept situations which are not what we wanted. We get into relationships which are not right for us. We fall in to a comfort zone and make excuses. Sometimes, those we are with are on a different path and will hold us back. Choices we make will either slow us down or get us to the finish line a lot quicker. It’s deciding what you want more that matters.

(By the way, if you run at 8mins/km, I’m looking for a running partner.)