The empty desk

Posted on June 27, 2013 by Bo

The ‘Old Man in the office’ has retired. Most of us thought this day would never arrive as he seemed to re-invent himself and move to different teams every time his retirement date drew near. He delayed his departure for a couple of years until he finally made the decision to leave for good.

On his last day at work, he walked the floor and said his goodbyes (taking full advantage of the hugs from all the ladies). As he neared my desk and I watched his face, I saw real sadness. I guess after working at a place for so many years, you do form a bond and a strong connection with both people and everything around you. It becomes your world. Saying goodbye is hard.

I always lecture myself about work life balance and ensuring I am not too ‘attached’ to work. But I saw this quote the other day and it kind of made some sense to me.

Yes, work life balance is important but I’m surrounded by some individuals who give it 110% every single day. There’s a passion and a drive about them that’s highly contagious. It keeps me coming back for more, thirsty for that next challenge.

I’m going to miss the Old Man, especially his terribly ~~rude~~ corny jokes he used to tell. I’m going to miss hearing him complain on the phone and getting upset in meetings when people talked at the same time. I’m going to miss him asking what I’ve got in my lunchbox. I’m going to miss tweeting about his silly mannerisms. In a weird way, I’m even going to miss him asking me, “Brony, would you like some coffee, tea or me?” Awkward.

Goodbye Old Man.

I’m just disappointed, that’s all.

Posted on May 19, 2013 by Bo

I’m disappointed.

I’ve been going through some real ups and downs at work in the past few weeks. Moments where it has felt as if things were all coming together, only to be faced with everything falling apart. It’s left me in a nasty dip. I’ve been walking around the office feeling lost, feeling extremely let down and pretty miserable to be around. I’m highly irritated with myself that I was mentally prepared for change and the change did not come and now I don’t know which way to turn…

Chatting to KK about it, he reminded me that he’s seen this happen before. Periods in my work life where I have been forced to make decisions based on a number of factors. He said, “Things do come right. They always do, but maybe just not when you expect them to.”

I guess the one lesson I’m learning from this experience is how I deal with situations that don’t go my way. I don’t deal with disappointment well. I let it overwhelm me and look to blame others. Nobody is at fault here. Things just didn’t pan out as I thought they would. It’s really up to me now to decide: do I look for a new path or just stick to the old one and wait? Going through some photos recently, I came across this one…

While on holiday in April, KK and I decided to go for a walk through Cecilia forest in Cape Town and chose the hiker’s path through the forest. After 2 hours, we landed up getting lost. We really did not know whether or not to continue on the hiker’s path, which was full of climbs and unexpected turns, or to just find the path that everyone else was on and stick to it. Regardless of the path, I enjoyed the beautiful scenery. It didn’t really matter to me that we did not quite know where we were because I was having fun.

This is what I’ve come to realize about my current situation. I’m more focused on the disappointment than on what’s next on the horizon.Why am I letting this bad patch bring me down? Things happen for a reason. I need to stop sulking and start enjoying the journey. “Build a bridge Bron and get over it!”

Tackling the ups and the downs

Posted on April 28, 2013 by Bo

My run today pretty much mirrored the week I had last week. Lots of highs and lows, ups and downs. The difference is that when I run, I clearly have a strategy on how to deal with the up hills and down hills and I know how to listen to my body. I don’t do the same when it comes to work.

I can home 3 out of 5 evenings declaring that I had ‘just had the day outta hell’. I was exhausted. It felt as if all my energy had been drained from my body. It’s not so much work pressures but struggling to cope with office politics that’s getting the better of me. It’s mentally draining.

But then there were moments in my week when things at work were great. Moments when I felt valued, encouraged and hearing news which really lifted my spirits.

I need to approach the highs and lows as I do when I run. Tackling those up hills, my strategy is to slow down to a fast walk, to take in my surroundings and try forgetting about the burn in my legs. The hills do eventually come to an end.

When I get to the flat sections and down hills, I speed up and just enjoy the wind in my hair as I let go and savor the feeling. The run become easier and I push myself.

I realize that every week will have those moments of stress and happiness. Of joy and pain, the ups and downs. Some days I need to slow down, reflect on what’s causing my stress and ‘ride the storm’. And on the good days, I need to just sit back and enjoy!

Great run today… Looking forward to a great week!

Exactly how candid are your conversations?

Posted on March 13, 2013 by Bo

In a world that is constantly changing, under strain and with people working in abnormally stressful environments, you often find that corporates send their teams to workshops in order to master EQ, communications and other skills. With so many personal development areas to focus on, the one area we often ignore is how to have candid conversations with others.

Group work to discuss issues

So I found myself sitting in one of ‘those’ workshops today and while we engaged in insightful conversation and at times, quite emotional sharing, it was only when I got home and read some of my notes that I realised just how powerful some of the statements I had written down were. You don’t need to be in my workshop to use these statements and make them relevant in your life:

Self-awareness enables us to respond vs. react.
Inquiring brings out the other person’s view.
Waiting to talk is not listening.
People change and forget to tell one another (and even themselves).
Reality clashes with plans.
People are uncomfortable with real.
I’m going to show up as ‘myself’. Show people who I am.
Be here! Right now, in this moment.
Know who I am and what I am about in all my conversations.
Keep reminding yourself daily of what outcome you want in life.
No one is able to keep up with the level of change – protect your immune systems. You only have one.
Why is it so easy to disappoint yourself, but not other people?
Perceptions = Reality.
In every conversation, there’s my story, your story and our story.

The final message of the day was finding that balance in life/work (keeping up with those friggin walkers!). It could be gym, a run after work, walking the dogs, a good meal or even a favourite TV show. But give back, both to your body and your mind. Remember to reward yourself. You deserve it!

I encourage you to read my list again and pick out that one relevant statement that speaks to you and make that change!