In the blink of an eye

Life changes in the blink of an eye. It really does. But it takes years for you to notice it.

During these recent times of uncertainty in the world, I’ve tried to make sense of the chaos. Have I made the right choices? What will I do if things go wrong? What’s my plan B? Let’s face it. The world has officially gone mad. But whatever it is, when I look around and observe what some of my friends are getting up to, I see a real sense of bravery! Of change…

Sharon & Hillary took up horse-riding. Andrew resigned from his job with no alternative. He just decided one day, “Screw this! No more!”

Chevy & Marc packed up and left Johannesburg for a different lifestyle down in Cape Town where job titles don’t matter. What matters to them is walking the dogs on the beach after work in the late setting sun.

Shaun & Lisa left for an overseas adventure. Taking up job opportunities but with the end goal of exploring the world while they’re still young. So did Meg & Rob. (By the way, follow Meg’s awesome blog on all things Dublin.)

My very good friend Karen envisages a completely different upbringing for her two sons. She is planning a future quite opposite to anything she knows. Listening to her planning to emigrate to Australia has shown me that it’s not as easy as one might think. But she has a vision. A new start to life.

Retrenchment has meant Sam has registered her own company. I can see that she’s nervous. The unknown always is, but she’s doing it. How frikking exciting!? I wish it was me!

Full time running coaching has given Coach Neville a second chance at “life”! They always say follow your passion and I suspect he’s been surprised by the journey that perhaps he should’ve embarked on years ago.

Turning 40 was a biggie in my life! Watching Samantha training to run her first Comrades marathon on her 40th birthday in a few months time, well … that’s pretty epic!

Susan is fighting cancer. Too many people I know are fighting cancer. Their resilience to never give up inspires me. Their approaches to decisions that they don’t exactly have control over is heartbreaking to see.

Terence has gone solo! I wish I could do that… But what do I have to offer?

This is me in Cape Town in 2007. In a blink of an eye, it’s 10 years later.

I’m seeing newbie runners like Russel bursting with runner’s high. I watched my sister, Gwynn, buying her own home and then going on to lose 17kgs! Janine is going back to university. New jobs. New hobbies. New lives!

It’s inspiring! It’s brave! It’s been happening in front of my eyes all this time, but I’m only seeing it all now. As if it’s a sign I need to see. For a reason I’m still grappling with.

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.

A couple of months ago, I was frustrated when it appeared as if things at work were not going as I had planned. Fast forward to now and I find myself quite overwhelmed with all of the changes.

A new job, a new team to manage, new processes, new stakeholders, new colleagues, new projects, a new office… new everything! You must know that I am not the best when it comes to change so this implosion of my life has been incredibly stressful.Too much

I must confess that some moments of my day are spent trying to stop myself from panicking. The other time is spent trying to clear out my mailbox!

Don’t get me wrong – I am loving it. I get home exhausted. I am learning something new each and every day and it feels as if at the end of each day, my brain is fried banana.

There are three things that keep me going:

  • It’s comforting to know that the team I left behind are friends and a safe place to go visit. They take my mind off things, they ground me in a way and remind me of who I am.
  • My new team are awesome. They have made it very easy for me to openly admit that I don’t quite understand what CTR or wireframe is.
  • My bosses (a few of them) make me believe that I can do this. That taking on this challenge is a piece of cake. They have all been so supportive and encouraging. I will not let them down.

But for the moment, I need to practice my breathing. I noticed today that when I stress, I stop breathing and hold my breath in. It’s as if I will be able to stop time… just for a second while I try to catch up.