In the blink of an eye

Life changes in the blink of an eye. It really does. But it takes years for you to notice it.

During these recent times of uncertainty in the world, I’ve tried to make sense of the chaos. Have I made the right choices? What will I do if things go wrong? What’s my plan B? Let’s face it. The world has officially gone mad. But whatever it is, when I look around and observe what some of my friends are getting up to, I see a real sense of bravery! Of change…

Sharon & Hillary took up horse-riding. Andrew resigned from his job with no alternative. He just decided one day, “Screw this! No more!”

Chevy & Marc packed up and left Johannesburg for a different lifestyle down in Cape Town where job titles don’t matter. What matters to them is walking the dogs on the beach after work in the late setting sun.

Shaun & Lisa left for an overseas adventure. Taking up job opportunities but with the end goal of exploring the world while they’re still young. So did Meg & Rob. (By the way, follow Meg’s awesome blog on all things Dublin.)

My very good friend Karen envisages a completely different upbringing for her two sons. She is planning a future quite opposite to anything she knows. Listening to her planning to emigrate to Australia has shown me that it’s not as easy as one might think. But she has a vision. A new start to life.

Retrenchment has meant Sam has registered her own company. I can see that she’s nervous. The unknown always is, but she’s doing it. How frikking exciting!? I wish it was me!

Full time running coaching has given Coach Neville a second chance at “life”! They always say follow your passion and I suspect he’s been surprised by the journey that perhaps he should’ve embarked on years ago.

Turning 40 was a biggie in my life! Watching Samantha training to run her first Comrades marathon on her 40th birthday in a few months time, well … that’s pretty epic!

Susan is fighting cancer. Too many people I know are fighting cancer. Their resilience to never give up inspires me. Their approaches to decisions that they don’t exactly have control over is heartbreaking to see.

Terence has gone solo! I wish I could do that… But what do I have to offer?

This is me in Cape Town in 2007. In a blink of an eye, it’s 10 years later.

I’m seeing newbie runners like Russel bursting with runner’s high. I watched my sister, Gwynn, buying her own home and then going on to lose 17kgs! Janine is going back to university. New jobs. New hobbies. New lives!

It’s inspiring! It’s brave! It’s been happening in front of my eyes all this time, but I’m only seeing it all now. As if it’s a sign I need to see. For a reason I’m still grappling with.

Running towards the fear

  
I saw this quote about two weeks ago. It immediately grabbed my attention and I’ve wanted to shout it out on various social media platforms. But I haven’t. Because I’m not yet ready to be brave enough to say it out loud. To announce what I’m planning on doing. 

It feels as if I could easily use this image for a number of incidents going on in my life currently. So I didn’t want to waste the words by sharing it too early or for something trivial. Because it isn’t. And the words are *that* powerful to me. 

I read it over and over again and it’s beginning to make sense. There are others that also resonate with me too. Such as these… 

  
 

So it’s the 32km Tough One race on Sunday. I’ll just leave it there… 

Falling…

Falling ManBeing a huge fan of documentaries, I recently watched “The Falling Man”. It’s the story of the search for the identify of a man who jumped from the burning World Trade Centre Towers during 9/11. (Confession: I’m a little obsessed with doccies on 9/11).

What struck me is the connection I felt with no one knowing who this man was. The guesses and the media interference amid all the confusion was quite familiar to me.

A problem that I have struggled with for too long now is the fact that my role has not been clearly defined or even understood by my team at work. I get asked the oddest questions. I get pulled in to meetings which have nothing to do with me. But worst of all is that I get left out of projects where I could add the most value.

Gate crashing of meetings, emails and ‘profiling’ of myself has made very little impact. So whilst watching the documentary and seeing this man falling, I acknowledged that I have been feeling the same way for far too long now. I’ve been falling. Faster and faster. I’ve been walking around the office appearing calm and peaceful yet inside, filled with anxiety and frustration.

It’s inevitable. Unless you are adding real value where you work and unless you are fulfilled with having found your purpose, you will always be falling to a most certain death.

I’m so relieved that a couple of months ago I admitted to myself that I needed to do something about it and took action. It has taken a while to get off the ground, but I am moving my career in a different direction – something I’m super excited about! <watch this blog!>

By the way. They found the man’s identity in the end. It was a sign to me that I’m making a good move forward.