giving up | Keeping up with the Walkers…

It’s a simple sentence but one that stopped me in my tracks when I read it.

Don’t overthink it. What do you mean “Don’t overthink it?” How is that even possible? I’m a thinker. It’s what I do.

Weeping Buddha. Bought in Bali a few years ago & which sits on my dressing table. 🤎

My need for escapism is at an all time high. Especially since lockdown has my brain fried.

I’ve gone from days loving being locked up in the solitude known as my office, to other days when I can’t breathe and seek out any excuse to get in my car and drive away, music blaring.

I’ve started training again with running Coach Michelle. It’s been a lifesaver. My only constant in a world gone mad.

Running around a dry & grassy field alone over and over again gives you time to think. X8 laps worth. And my Sunday run turned into a walk when the weight of my thoughts were just too heavy to carry.

The COVID case numbers are out of control
The economy is shattered
Unemployment and desperation is rising
Anger. Blame. Hatred. Fear.
There’s no end in sight

The exhaustion of trying to live in a state of endless hope has taken its toll on me. I’m losing hope.

I’m tired. Tired of being hopeful on my own. Just for once, I need the freedom to vent. To be angry. To collapse. In safety.

The weight of giving up hope weighs heavily. Because if positive people, like myself, give up, then what?

Not overthinking it is impossible right now.

If you appreciate a good game of Scrabble, then you’ll understand this post…

There’s a rule in Scrabble which says that when you are unable to use your letters to form a word, you can throw them all back, skip a turn, but then get to choose 7 new letters and start from scratch. You also have the option to skip a turn when you are unable to make a move.

I sometimes wish life could be this simple and have these options.

I often get so bogged down with the stresses of life that some days I feel totally overwhelmed. I am too stressed out, too tired to focus and it feels as if there’s just too much to do.

Days such as these, I wish I could throw all my problems and issues back, skip a turn and take my chances with a whole new set of challenges tomorrow.

The irony is that these complicated letters usually hold the biggest values. The Z is worth 10 points for example.

Life works pretty much the same way. If we are able to overcome the big problems, survive the painful days and get through the stresses, there is much value in store.

But sometimes, it’s so much easier to want to throw in the towel, give up, skip a turn and take the easy way out…