Monthly Archives: November 2011

Running to the end

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Everyone has the end of year jitters. With talk of holidays and colleagues applying for annual leave, there is still so much work to get done before the end of the year. Invoices need to be submitted, charters need to be briefed, proposals need a decision on, workshops still need to be held. It’s an absolutely crazy time at the office at the moment. 

It’s not only me that feels the tension. When I look around, I see some very stressed out faces. Tired, drained, with no more energy left. It even feels as if we’re all ready to give up and throw in the towel. It’s during these times that I remember my Johnson Crane race and realize that there is no option of quitting. 

The Johnson Crane half marathon was the very first 21.1km race I ever attempted. I was fine during the first 14 kms. I ran in a good, steady pace. I felt fresh. However, I might have been a bit eager and by the time I got to the 16km mark, I hit the wall. 

Hitting the wall is something most runners fear. It’s a terrible feeling. I remember it well. I was exhausted. It felt as if every step I took required immense effort until eventually, I stopped. My body would not carry on. I froze. I could not think of anything else but quitting. My legs refused to move and as hard as I fought it, every muscle in my body had given up on me. My mind was screaming, GO! But my body wouldn’t move. 

It took a dear friend who happened to cycle past me to feed me a banana and gels to get some energy pumping through my body before I managed to get my legs to move and carry on running. 

I finished my race and to this day, Johnson Crane has become one of my favourite half marathons and holds that special place in my heart. 

I have strung my medal around a little ornament on my desk. I use it to inspire me on difficult days.

Especially on days when it feels like I’ve hit the wall. The days when the stress overwhelms me. I stare at it and remember that I am capable of so much more…

It reminds me that even if I hit bumps in the road and even if I am on the verge of quitting that there is always an end in sight…

And a medal! 

Making Christmas mine involves a bit of compromise and effort

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I dread this time of year. While everyone else around me is excited about the holidays and the countdown to Christmas, for me, it represents the time of year that KK and I argue the most.

The thing is that we’ve both come from very different upbringings where Christmas was celebrated very differently in our families.

His memories of Christmas involve presents around the tree, family photographs, gammon and fruit cake and opening up presents on Christmas eve.

However, I can’t remember my family ever having a Christmas tree. Presents were not a big deal (and some years never even wrapped).  I also recall that the fact that my single mom could earn extra money for working overtime on these days meant we usually landed up spending the time at my granny.

Don’t get me wrong. It never bugged me. In fact, this is what I came to know as a fantastic Christmas! This was the norm.

So what’s the problem then? Why do we fight?

In a way, KK is reluctant to give up on his Christmas tradition. In his eyes, it is perfect. This is where the arguments start. I want something of my own. I want my own tradition. I want something uniquely ours. And yet with Christmas eve booked by his family and Christmas day spent split between my mom, stepdad and my dad, there isn’t really time for an ‘our’ Christmas.

I think it’s different when you have kids and you start creating your own traditions. But that’s not going to happen with us. So for the past couple of years, it’s always landed up being a big argument.

So this year, I decided that two things were needed. I needed to back down and accept that KK’s Christmas is important to him and I shouldn’t try change anything. The second realisation is that if I wanted something of my own, I needed to find it or create it.

And so I did..

We made Friday night a ‘romantic, Christmas tree putting up evening’. I booked us out for the evening (so that we didn’t accidentally make Friday night plans with friends), I bought some really yummy snacks on the way home including some wine. I made a delicious supper which we ate outside on the patio, watching the sun set. And then we set out decorating our home in Christmas decorations. Together. Just the two of us while my George Michael CD played in the background.

It was an evening where we celebrate the start of ‘our’ Christmas together and spent time decorating our beautiful home with the most stunning Christmas decorations.

What works is that no one can take this evening away from us. It is ours and is a special evening that we can look forward to every year from now on – building our own yearly tradition.

It takes both a compromise to find a solution and an effort in order to make something work. Sometimes it’s difficult to do, but the rewards are amazing!

Being a real friend in an online world

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I’ve come to realise that as I grow older, my definition of the word ‘friend’ is changing. When I was younger, I was fortunate enough to have a tight bunch of school friends who were pretty much attached at the hip. It formed the foundation of what I considered “best friends” and I am so blessed that 23 years later, I am still in contact with two of them.

What they have taught me is that even though you move away to another country, and even though your title of wife is now extended to mother, you are still the same person and can still connect as a friend.

But this is in the real world…

With our lives so dictated by technology around us, I am yet to work out the rules of engagement for online friendships.

You see, I was horribly shaken two weeks ago when a “friend” I had gotten to know well, suddenly “disappeared” without as much of an explanation or a simple goodbye.

(wait…allow me to put this in to context.)

I met this person via Twitter. An amazing person with loads of energy, positive vibes and incredible stories, we chatted often and shared pictures of our children (read: dogs). In April this year, we even met for lunch and took the virtual friendship into the real world.

Two weeks ago, he suspended his Twitter account. No explanation, no goodbye. Just gone…

I am not the only one who has been wondering where he disappeared to so I don’t take it personally. It’s just that I don’t have any of his contact details. Twitter was our only means of contact so I am unable to get hold of him. (Gee, how the world has changed…)

I guess this means the friendship is over. *sob*

I must admit, I have tried to make sense of it all. I have analysed in my head what friendship means to people on social media platforms in today’s day and age. Is it really all that fickle? Do people take friendship that lightly and move on so easily?

I certainly don’t. But am I therefore investing too much in to it?

In a world were some people have over 1 000 “friends” on Facebook, my only conclusion is that in the virtual world, the word friendship and what it means to be a friend is different for everyone. It appears to be diluted. It’s not as stable or concrete. It’s used quite loosely.

Regardless of this and how society’s definition of friendship is changing, there’s one thing I know: I’ve met some incredible people via Twitter. We’ve shared some amazing moments and fun times. And yes, according to my definition, I consider them my friends…

Cycle Challenge Sunday memories…

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As typical Jo’burgers, KK and I have a wonderful tradition of supporting the 94.7 Cycle Challenge every year. We carry our camper chairs and cooler box up to the main road and sit cheering on the cyclists as they pass.

The race holds a special place in KK’s heart. He has successfully completed the race 7 times before and so while he watches the riders, he will repeatedly suggest that he will attempt to do it again next year.

It doesn’t really appeal much to me. Except for the fact that I get quite emotional just watching the race unfold and exactly how special it is to so many cyclists…

Some of my favourites parts of the day:

  • Lying in bed and hearing the helicopter fly over our house just before 7am and knowing the front riders are passing through my hood.
  • Packing a cooler box, not forgetting the sammies from Woolies we bought the day before in preparation.
  • Walking up the road and greeting all the neighbours (and the furry ones).
  • The cheering of people when they spot their friends and family passing and handing them beers and chocolates.
  • Tapping our feet to the music from God First church who always come out to support. This year, they made free boerie rolls and bacon rolls with drinks for everyone.
  • Seeing cyclists helping each other up the uphills by giving each other a push on the back.
  • All the different, crazy outfits that some cyclists wear.
  • The inspirational cyclists riding for CHOC in the hot, cow outfits.
  • The disappointed looks of the cyclists on the back of the sweeper van. Sorry guys!

It’s truly one of my favourite days and as we make our way back home, seeing the cops opening up the streets to traffic, it’s great to know that the event has the support of so many in Jo’burg.

I love this city!