Is being alone making me lonely?

KK is away on a business trip. You’d think I’d be used to it by now but I’ve realised that I’m not. Since I met KK, he has gone away on many business trips. Some of them have been short ones, some of them as long as 5 weeks. I usually arrange dinner dates with all my besties, I plan my PVR schedule and try get in long phone calls with my sister and my mom. But the plans all sound more exciting than reality. Because if I have to be honest with myself, I actually hate being alone.

Is there a difference between being alone and lonely? Surprisingly, the dictionary defines lonely like this:

lone•ly [lohn-lee] – adjective, lone•li•er, lone•li•est. affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.

Ironically, being alone is definitely making me feel incredibly depressed lonely. Yes I have loads of friends and colleagues around me. But it’s not the same, especially when I am so used to being with KK all the time. I can’t sleep during the week. I don’t feel like watching TV. I avoid going out. I tend to sleep my weekend away. I go into total hibernation until he returns.Lonely bear

I think it’s been bugging me a lot more lately because I’ve realised that with us not having any children, without KK, I truly am alone. I’ve never really been alone. After I moved out of home, I always had someone in my life and met KK 15 years ago. He’s all I’ve got. So when he does go away, I am fooling myself in to believing I love the ‘free’ time. I hate it.

9 thoughts on “Is being alone making me lonely?

  1. I must admit that I don’t mind being on my own. Mr OL went away for 7 weeks earlier this year, and yes, I do have Little OL but while he was away I set up a schedule of club runs, training, friends as well as alone time. I realised that while he was here I relied on him to keep me company. I have maintained that schedule, even though he has been back for nearly 2 months. I think it is good for me and probably him.


  2. Sorry Brony. Not cool. I hate travelling away from Megs and the girls. We also get lonely. I went away on a rugby tour to the UK for a month. Although it was rugby my passion it was not the same not sharing it with my family.

    So being lonely I am sure also goes for KK. He would be crazy not to miss that awesome smile and stunning person that you are.

    Best medicine for being lonely. Put on this takkies and hit the road… Works like a bomb.


    • I guess you’re right. My sms’s weren’t going through to him and he panicked not knowing if i was okay or not. So i suppose it’s not a holiday he’s on, but work.


  3. Lance used to travel a lot, and little kids keep you busy, but are not really company IFKYIM… so that was one of the triggers for my SM involvement… cos that was 24/7 and kept me company at night


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