About Bo

Dog lover. Runner. Although very slowly. Keeping up with the stresses of running and life...

Exactly how candid are your conversations?

Posted on March 13, 2013 by Bo

In a world that is constantly changing, under strain and with people working in abnormally stressful environments, you often find that corporates send their teams to workshops in order to master EQ, communications and other skills. With so many personal development areas to focus on, the one area we often ignore is how to have candid conversations with others.

Group work to discuss issues

So I found myself sitting in one of ‘those’ workshops today and while we engaged in insightful conversation and at times, quite emotional sharing, it was only when I got home and read some of my notes that I realised just how powerful some of the statements I had written down were. You don’t need to be in my workshop to use these statements and make them relevant in your life:

Self-awareness enables us to respond vs. react.
Inquiring brings out the other person’s view.
Waiting to talk is not listening.
People change and forget to tell one another (and even themselves).
Reality clashes with plans.
People are uncomfortable with real.
I’m going to show up as ‘myself’. Show people who I am.
Be here! Right now, in this moment.
Know who I am and what I am about in all my conversations.
Keep reminding yourself daily of what outcome you want in life.
No one is able to keep up with the level of change – protect your immune systems. You only have one.
Why is it so easy to disappoint yourself, but not other people?
Perceptions = Reality.
In every conversation, there’s my story, your story and our story.

The final message of the day was finding that balance in life/work (keeping up with those friggin walkers!). It could be gym, a run after work, walking the dogs, a good meal or even a favourite TV show. But give back, both to your body and your mind. Remember to reward yourself. You deserve it!

I encourage you to read my list again and pick out that one relevant statement that speaks to you and make that change!

It’s called tough love

Posted on March 11, 2013 by Bo

Nobody wants to admit that they have a problem child. You always think that other people’s children are naughtier than yours and that your kids can do nothing wrong. That’s how I felt about my two ~~girls~~ dogs, Annie & Emma. Until recently. You see, it’s hard to admit this but they’ve become barkers. Yip, I have two spoilt, naughty, irritating yappers! (OMG, I said it!).

They bark at the neighbour’s dog, the neighbour’s cat, the neighbour himself. They bark at the security guard and cars driving into the complex. They absolutely hate hearing kids playing outside our gate and they detest the hadedahs. KK and I have pretty much ignored it and when we hear them bark, we shout at them. But when we leave the house, I can just imagine what it must be like! I’d hate to be our neighbour.

I kept thinking that my only option was electric shock collars but then the owner of the dog salon told us about a Chihuahua who has to wear a vibrating collar when he has a treatment because he can’t stop barking. (You see, there’s always someone else’s child who is worse than ours).

So we spoke to the Vet who showed us two options: a vibrating/sound dog collar or a sound emitting bird house. We opted for the collars. My girls hate the collars. As soon as I put them on, they slink away and give me the hairy eyeball. The guilt trip kills me! But so far, so good.I think they hate wearing the collars more than the uncomfort of the vibration when they bark. But I need them to learn to stop their ugly habit. I have no other option. I now realize what they mean by ‘tough love’!

I’m holding thumbs that the collars work. I’ll keep you guys posted…

You’ve found my blog, but what were you looking for?

Posted on March 3, 2013 by Bo

The Site Stats section of my blog always reveals quite a few insights about the readers of my blog. It shows me how many views my posts are getting, what are my top posts and pages, and arb info such as who are the top commenters of my posts.

But it’s the search engine terms that are used to find my blog that is the most revealing. The top search term that I see daily is “tired runner”. Now I know that a lot (maybe too many of my posts) have centered around my struggles with running times, pace, sore feet etc., so it’s no surprise that they find my blog to read this kind of blog post.

Are runners out there tired? Are they seeking advice on how to deal with being tired and why are they tired? I do suspect we overdo it in SA with all the races we participate in and our competitiveness. We don’t take time to rest.

One of the other top search engine terms is a real concern for me. It’s “little girls in the bath”. I wrote a blog ages ago about bathing my dogs and used the title “Two little girls in the bath”. But I doubt the person looking for these terms have any interest in dogs. I warn all my family and friends to refrain from posting naked pics of their toddlers on social media platforms because there are some sicko’s out there trawling for pics. Sickens me really.

The last search engine term that I see often is “how to cope” or “how to admit not coping”. I smile at this one because if you’ve followed my blog, you’d know that I don’t seem to have an issue with admitting I am not coping with my running. But do I do so as easily at work? Or even at home? I don’t think that I do. I also suspect that the person looking for answers may not even be a runner. Sad. I hope they find the answers they are looking for.

Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read my blog!

Dear Two Oceans Half Marathon… we need to talk.

Posted on February 27, 2013 by Bo

Dear Two Oceans Half Marathon,

Like most runners, I fell in love with you right from the start. You were the dream race, the one everyone spoke about. When my running training started at the beginning of each year, it would be centred around you as the goal date, the goal race. All the reading I did was about you. All the training I did was for you. In terms of running, you were ‘my everything’.

But since 2010, things between us started to go wrong. You started to see more people and the entries just grew and grew. The problem is that with 16 000 runners, it makes it that much tougher for me to get over that starting mat without losing at least 10 minutes. I don’t exactly have 10 minutes to spare because, as you know, I run at 8 minutes per km and this cuts it fine with a 3 hour cut off time. It’s funny because ever since I started running, I’ve allowed your 3 hour cut off time to dictate my runs and my pace to the extent that I feel absolutely miserable when I don’t run my half marathons under 3 hours.

I guess that’s my point. How you make me feel. Like any woman in an abusive relationship, I forgave you because I ‘loved’ you. I even started this blog about ‘Keeping up’ because I was so desperate to please you. But if I have to be honest with myself, you make me feel like a failure, inadequate, pathetic. You stress me out and instead of enjoying the run, I keep thinking that I will fail. I keep wanting to quit every single day but fear that other runners will judge me.

I don’t feel like that when I run other races. In fact, since January, I’ve noticed a change within me. I started to like running half marathons and not be stressed about the time. I started to enjoy the distance. I’ve loved every kilometre and when I’ve crossed the finish line, I’ve been so damn proud of myself. Proud because I am able to run 21.1km. So far, I’ve run 3 half marathon races this year and each one has taken me over 3 hours, but you know what, it didn’t matter. I have fallen in love with my running again!

So, I think what I’m trying to say is … it’s not you, it’s me. It’s taken me 4 years to realize that running is supposed to be fun. It’s taken me so many races to finally acknowledge that I run at 8 minutes per km and I’m okay with that. I watch so many other runners crossing that finish line after me with smiles on their faces. I want to be one of those runners. I want to be content and at peace and not carry around this huge burden.

So it’s good bye. We can still be friends and I will see you for the 8km run on Good Friday. But as far as any long term commitment, you’ve taken up way too much of my time and energy (both mentally & physically) already. I’m moving on.

Bronwynne