A tale of two coaches

Whilst enjoying a breakfast with my girlfriends, I was listening how one of them explained how she goes about managing her team at work. She told us that she manages all of them very differently. Some thrive on praise, whilst others need to be pushed and challenged. She concluded that it’s about finding that ‘something’ that motivates them because not all of them respond in the same way. *good manager Mich*

The same can be said about the training techniques of running coaches. Lately, I’ve been exposed to two very different training techniques. The one coach drives me harder than I’ve ever been pushed in my life and has me setting goals that give me serious goosies. The other expresses concern about my love of running and tells me to slow down.

The training methods of these two trainers are so extreme that what it has taught me is that as in life, with running, there needs to be a balance.

You see, while I “get” what each of them is teaching me, I have settled for the middle ground. I’ve decided that while I like to be pushed hard and be motivated to believe that I am capable of so much more, I do understand that there is a time and place for everything.

Yes, so I do need to push myself and reach those running goals, but at the same time, if it causes me to stop enjoying running, those goals are empty. Pointless.

Thanks coach! Both of you….

Why are you so hard on yourself?

Road running is not a team sport. As Professor Tim Noakes points out in “The (bible) Lore of Running”, running is a competition with oneself. As he puts it, “…with team sports, you do not have to admit your imperfections. There is always someone or something else to blame.” But running is different.

Running is highly personal. It’s got nothing to do with anyone else but yourself. In fact, only you know how much training you’ve put in. Only you know what goals you want to achieve. Only you can make it happen. No one else can achieve those goals but you. You are the only person you’re running for and the only person satisfied or not with the performance.

A while back, I found myself explaining to a (non-running) friend about my running and my aims to run faster so that I make the 3 hour cut-off times to most half marathons. She listened patiently but it was her question to me that has been on my mind a lot. She asked, “Why are you so hard on yourself? Why don’t you ever stop and celebrate the fact that you can in fact run so far in the first place?”

I didn’t know the answer…

Being so hard on myself does keep me running and keeps me striving to reach my running goals, but unfortunately it prevents me from enjoying my runs. Majority of the time, I am too obsessed with the negative aspects more than celebrating the small victories of my runs.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been giving it some serious thought. I’ve been working on enjoying the runs more than trying to achieve something. I’ve left my running watch at home when I train and not care if I walk during a race. I haven’t had to worry if it rains and I can’t train. I don’t stress when I choose to rather sleep late than go running.

I’ve started to change the way I view my running. You see, this is what I’ve realised: I am a runner.

I don’t need to run the Comrades marathon to claim to be a runner. I can take a year to train for next year’s Two Oceans and maybe throw in a few other half marathons too. I can call myself a runner, just because I run.

I’ve started to enjoy my runs. I’ve started to have fun. I’ve started to feel victorious in a different way. If I run 5 kms around my neighbourhood, 3kms at the gym or a 10km race on the weekend, I’m running and loving it.

I’m overcoming a big hurdle and it feels great! I’ve finally started to run for myself…

When you finally make a decision, everything else falls into place

My parents have a rock in their garden with the following quote carved into it, “To conquer fear, you need to make a decision.”

I’m not sure why this quote popped in to my head on Saturday, but it did. You see, on Saturday I made the decision to pull out of running the Two Oceans half marathon in April.

It’s been a very difficult and tough decision to make. Trust me, I’m heart-broken! But I’ve had time to think long and hard and decide what’s best for me. 

Two Oceans blogger, Dr Ross Tucker pointed out, Why is sometimes more powerful than how.” So I sat down and wrote out my goals and answered some tough questions I realised was long overdue. It turns out, this is what I know: I do not have a problem running 21.1kms. The distance does not put me off and I do not struggle with it either. It’s the pace where my biggest challenge lies. Due to the fact that I run so slowly, the extra stress of making a 3 hour cut-off hangs over my head causing me incredible stress making it a very unpleasant run.  

The stress comes down to the speed of my running. If I can correct this and run faster, I would not stress as much and enjoy the run more.

The training that I started with my coach in January aims to do just that – get me running faster.

Unfortunately, the training schedule I am following does not include Two Oceans or any other half marathons coming up. In fact, I have already pulled a quad muscle by running Johnson Crane too hard and trying to slip back into my training schedule a day later without resting.

In chatting to my coach, he reminded me that my goal for 2012 is speed, not Two Oceans and unfortunately this year, I can only choose one.

I’ve chosen speed.

My hope is that if I can work on running faster, and start making those cut-off times by a good half hour or so, I will in fact not stress as much and enjoy my runs. That is the end goal.

Two Oceans will be there next year. And the next…

Since having made the decision, I am at peace and have a clearer view of my running goals ahead of me. But I am sad. Very sad. Some of my running friends have tried their very best to convince me otherwise and to run the race “for fun.” But it’s not fun when I’m running my guts out and still see a man at the finish line holding a cut-off gun.

I guess the biggest lesson I’ve learnt is that I was too afraid to make the decision. But the decision has to be what’s right for me, for my body, not anyone else. I kept worrying about what everyone would think. Would they all see it as quitting? 

To be honest, I’m tired (mentally and physically) of scraping through and just making it. I don’t want to run at 8mins/km anymore. I want to achieve a half marathon time of 2h40. Or 2h30. Even 2h20! I want to run faster!

That’s my goal!

Try again. If that fails, try again.

I did not have the best of week’s last week. Having received the news from my running coach that I had not followed my training schedule correctly and had therefore not improved as he would’ve liked sent me into a depressed spiral where I questioned my running and considered quitting.

I got blasted by my coach for even having thoughts of quitting. He said to me: Get your mind right!

Ironically, this is where I am lacking in “strength”. I am disciplined enough to train every day. I have even changed my diet, cutting out wheat and red meats. I drink enough water and have ensured I wear all the running gadgets one can buy. All the boxes are ticked. But getting up when I have fallen down is so difficult.

Previously, when it came to motivating myself and getting my head space right, I would sit quietly and repeat positive statements to myself. I would envisage myself running and completing races. I would fill my time with reading motivational running books. It would always be a very private and personal journey.

But there’s something I realised a few months ago when I started my blogging. When it comes to believing in my abilities, nothing helps me do that more than realising that others believe in me. In fact, spending time with people that build me up is exactly what I spent the week doing.

Dinner with a best friend (who meticulously read back to me every sentence from my coach’s email and analysed each comment with a fine tooth comb and turned each sentence into a positive statement – Marci, you mean the world to me), to the awesome run with an inspirational friend from Cape Town (Rogeema, you are too awesome for words) and an Iron Man (Morne) who surprised me with a visit, right down to the motivational tweets and caring comments on my blog telling me that quitting is not an option and that they believed in me.

There’s nothing that touched my heart more than realising that other people are so willing to share in my running pains and get me through the bad times.

I’m back up. I’m running.

Dear coach, let’s start again. I’m ready.