The thing about regret…

I’ve had a few regretful moments lately.

It started on Friday when I had to fork out R7k for two new tyres for my car. Why? Because apparently if you have a puncture you shouldn’t drive on run flats for more than a week. I regret not getting my tyre fixed sooner.

I spent Saturday afternoon with my sister and niece. Gosh but she’s growing up so quickly! We laughed and chatted and shared a bowl of chips with our quesadillas at Tasha’s. I regret not spending more time with her. She left me with the most beautiful bunch of flowers. Flowers, tulips

After an entire week of rain, I lay on the couch on Sunday staring out into the drenched garden. Summer is gone. Winter is on its way. I regret not spending more lazy afternoons next to the pool enjoying the rays of the sun. Next to the swimming pool in my cozzie

I continue to struggle with plantar fasciitis. Desperate to run and knowing I’m missing out on key road races, I regret not running more often during the last months of 2016. You can never make up that training time, it’s gone. 

I sometimes sit back and wonder how these things happen. Am I aware of it? Or does it catch me off guard? Can I make it up or fix things. Sure! But the feeling is pretty crappy in the moment. I suppose there’s no point in regretting but rather focus on what matters now! Learn from mistakes and move on! 

Saying hello…and goodbye to Two Oceans

As KK and I depart for our annual Easter break down in Cape Town, I must admit, I’m feeling a little mizz. In fact I’ve been feeling a bit down for a while now. You see, as everyone packs their bags and counts down to the Two Oceans half or ultra marathon, I won’t be running the race this year.

I pulled out due to injury as well as not being mentally ready to race against a cut-off time of 3 hours I feared I would miss (again). I was at a point where my running was not fun anymore and I hated the training. So I made the decision to stop stressing about my running, to focus on the 10km races and start falling in love with running again…

It was not an easy decision but once I made it, it was a weight off my shoulders and I still think it was the right decision. I have really enjoyed the shorter distances and I’ve had fun not having to constantly watch my pace. I’ve been happy with a 4km run in the evenings from home and sleeping later when I don’t feel like getting up at 3:30am for a race. It has helped me get back my “running mojo” and I’m enjoying it more than ever.

Yet it still doesn’t take away the fact that I wish I was running on Saturday. It doesn’t take away the fact that reading people’s tweets and blogs as they count down to the race doesn’t fill me with a tingle of jealousy and bit of regret.

While I know runners don’t judge one another, I am my biggest critic and keep trying to convince myself that pulling out of the race doesn’t mean I’m quitting. It means I’m doing what’s right, for me, at this point in time.

But it’s a heaviness that fills my heart.

I will still be there to support KK and the rest of our running gang. I’ll most probably get *goosies* when the gun goes off and I’ll still be super excited to see my running friends cross that finish line.

I’m holding thumbs that KK runs a PB! I wouldn’t miss that for the world!

Ps: this will be my last blog post until we get back from holiday on the 15th April.

Have a wonderful Easter!