Breaking down to heal

Posted on July 7, 2024 by Bo

I can’t remember why I stopped blogging…

It wasn’t because of the “busyness” of life. If you scroll through my social media feeds, you’ll see that I had lots of time for content creation.

But sharing on Instagram doesn’t have the same sense of intimacy as a blog post. My blog is mine. I don’t share the space with others and I’m not competing with algorithm updates. My stories belong to me.

My last blog entry was 4 years ago, just as the world was changing post COVID. I think in a way, we’re all still dealing with some parts of decisions that we made during that time.

I’m still running.

But if I thought I’d learnt all the lessons that running could ever teach me, I was mistaken.

I had both knees operated on during 2022 and couldn’t walk, nevermind run. It exposed just how big a role running played in my life.

When I couldn’t run, I saw less of KK. Even though we don’t run together, it dominates our lives.

When I couldn’t run, there were no more weekly track sessions or running friends to bond with. I felt lonely.

When I didn’t run, my mental health suffered. I felt weak. And unfit. And old.

And then I broke my foot and my 8th Two Oceans half marathon was put on hold.

That’s when not being able to run taught me my biggest lesson of all.

I started my blog in 2010 when I missed the 3 hour cutoff at my 2nd Two Oceans half marathon. In those days, my running speed was all that mattered. My runs focused on finishing my 21km races in under 3 hours!

I became obsessed with my pace and any race run at slower than 8mins per km felt like a failure to me.

The more I ran, the more I hated it. I changed coaches twice, thinking that the training would make a difference. I was disappointed in myself and didn’t even notice the kilometers clocking up.

But I had to break both knees and a foot to realise how much it hurt when my “slow” running was taken away from me.

What gap is left in your life when something or someone is removed?

Spending time at home made me yearn for the track sessions, the friendships, the feeling of achievement when I crossed that finish line.

I wasn’t missing the competitiveness or PBs at all. That wasn’t important. I was missing me.

Bron, the slow runner. Bron, the plain and simple average runner. Oh how I missed how running made me feel.

Strong. Fit. Capable.

To feel exhausted and pleasure at the same time.

To experience good and bad days and to keep going.

When you focus on the wrong things, it’s easy to get distracted. It feels like that with my blog.

I had forgotten why I had started blogging in the first place.

I started blogging to share the lessons that running teaches me about life.

I watch newbie runners and see their obsession with PBs and pace. I smile.

I watch experienced runners get disappointed with their performances. It happens.

Everyone is in a different season when it comes to running. Some are in seasons of abundance.

Others are stuck disappointed and disillusioned.

It’s taken a few years to dust off my blog and that’s okay. There’s no set time when you’re expected to work through your own personal seasons.

But hopefully when you get through them you gain clarity and can move on.

I know I’m ready to.

Journaling and running, for no one else but myself.

Yours in running, walking and loving all the rewards it brings me.

Bron xxx

Sick & tired of being sick

Posted on September 3, 2017 by Bo

I feel pretty miserable. It’s the weekend and while everyone else is out running, cycling, visiting friends and family, I’ve been locked up at home, desperately trying to treat a cough and congested nose.

It’s my own fault it got to this point. I could feel myself getting sick two weeks ago but still carried on at work as if nothing was wrong. I still stuck to my running program knowing I had some big races coming up. But the body doesn’t negotiate and finally brings you down.

The sore throat became a runny nose which turned into bronchitis. The body aches reminding me that I was unable to do the simplest task, never mind consider a jog. I landed up sitting on the bedroom floor on a Friday night with a nebulizer stuck to my face, exhausted.

I’ve learnt a couple of hard lessons during it all.

Work carries on with or without you. I should’ve stayed home and recovered properly. Some of my colleagues didn’t even realize that I wasn’t there.
I need to be aware of how much I’m saying yes to. I can’t do it all and eventually I did burn out.
Running must stop. This is the hardest lesson. I had already entered a couple of races which I couldn’t run. I was so disappointed. And when I do start up again, it’s going to feel like starting at square one.

I’m desperate to get better though. I’m sick of being sick. It’s frustrating and I’ve had enough. But I forced myself to rest.

And no, not work from home rest. Proper rest. Cups of tea, blanket, in front of telly, coloring in books kinda rest where I could slip in and out of naps as and when I liked.

It’s helped. I’m starting to feel like myself again.

Pelvis my dear Elvis

Posted on July 12, 2015 by Bo

Thinking back now, it was better that KK never had his ‘groin’ pain checked out properly before Comrades. If he had, he would have most probably pulled out of the race.

We finally know what the cause of the pain is. It’s not a torn leg muscle or groin injury. He went for an x-ray and as clear as daylight, he has a stress fracture of his pelvis.

Photo credit: Google image (not KK’s)

Out for 8 weeks. Out. No gym, no light training, no short easy runs. Out. Complete rest.

It’s been two weeks now and he’s already going mad! How do you tell someone like him, who runs or gyms every day of the week, to do nothing. To rest.

It’s funny how once you know what’s wrong, once you have a proper diagnosis of the problem , how easy it is to put a recovery plan in place to manage. Previously, random Google searches would bring up a million results but leave you feeling confused and frustrated.

KK knows what he needs to do now. He knows the journey ahead and that unless he rests, he won’t heal. It’s a runner’s worst nightmare! But he has no choice.

Pain in the um, er…side.

Posted on August 13, 2014 by Bo

Boy am I miserable. After a check-up at the doc last week, I was instructed to rest and give my torn intercostal muscle time to heal. It’s meant no gym, no spinning and no running (not even at my slow pace which some might consider a stroll in the park).

I’m trying to be patient. I know that running the Old Eds 10km race two weeks ago was most probably not the wisest of moves and potentially made my condition worse. If only I had listened to my body, I might have started to heal much quicker.

To make things worse, everywhere I look, people are running. Scrolling through my Twitter timeline and running mates are gearing up for Soweto marathon. Others are kick-starting their half marathon training schedules into gear. KK is waiting to see whether or not City 2 City will go ahead. Me? Well I’ve been resting. Lying on the bed after work, glugging down glasses of glutamine and rubbing arnica oil on my side.

I’ve never been the most patient person. I confess that I wake up each and every morning hoping this irritating side stitch will go away. But it lingers…

In a way, it’s been a blessing in disguise. The ‘time off’ has allowed me to check in with my goals. I’ve realised what matters to me the most. I now know what I want to achieve with my running. I know what I want! In my head, I’ve decided on my new challenge. My new goal. My new training regime. But physically, not yet ready to launch… Come on body!