Tag Archives: training

When you finally make a decision, everything else falls into place

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My parents have a rock in their garden with the following quote carved into it, “To conquer fear, you need to make a decision.”

I’m not sure why this quote popped in to my head on Saturday, but it did. You see, on Saturday I made the decision to pull out of running the Two Oceans half marathon in April.

It’s been a very difficult and tough decision to make. Trust me, I’m heart-broken! But I’ve had time to think long and hard and decide what’s best for me. 

Two Oceans blogger, Dr Ross Tucker pointed out, “Why is sometimes more powerful than how.” So I sat down and wrote out my goals and answered some tough questions I realised was long overdue. It turns out, this is what I know: I do not have a problem running 21.1kms. The distance does not put me off and I do not struggle with it either. It’s the pace where my biggest challenge lies. Due to the fact that I run so slowly, the extra stress of making a 3 hour cut-off hangs over my head causing me incredible stress making it a very unpleasant run.  

The stress comes down to the speed of my running. If I can correct this and run faster, I would not stress as much and enjoy the run more.

The training that I started with my coach in January aims to do just that – get me running faster.

Unfortunately, the training schedule I am following does not include Two Oceans or any other half marathons coming up. In fact, I have already pulled a quad muscle by running Johnson Crane too hard and trying to slip back into my training schedule a day later without resting.

In chatting to my coach, he reminded me that my goal for 2012 is speed, not Two Oceans and unfortunately this year, I can only choose one.

I’ve chosen speed.

My hope is that if I can work on running faster, and start making those cut-off times by a good half hour or so, I will in fact not stress as much and enjoy my runs. That is the end goal.

Two Oceans will be there next year. And the next…

Since having made the decision, I am at peace and have a clearer view of my running goals ahead of me. But I am sad. Very sad. Some of my running friends have tried their very best to convince me otherwise and to run the race “for fun.” But it’s not fun when I’m running my guts out and still see a man at the finish line holding a cut-off gun.

I guess the biggest lesson I’ve learnt is that I was too afraid to make the decision. But the decision has to be what’s right for me, for my body, not anyone else. I kept worrying about what everyone would think. Would they all see it as quitting? 

To be honest, I’m tired (mentally and physically) of scraping through and just making it. I don’t want to run at 8mins/km anymore. I want to achieve a half marathon time of 2h40. Or 2h30. Even 2h20! I want to run faster!

That’s my goal!

Try again. If that fails, try again.

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I did not have the best of week’s last week. Having received the news from my running coach that I had not followed my training schedule correctly and had therefore not improved as he would’ve liked sent me into a depressed spiral where I questioned my running and considered quitting.

I got blasted by my coach for even having thoughts of quitting. He said to me: Get your mind right!

Ironically, this is where I am lacking in “strength”. I am disciplined enough to train every day. I have even changed my diet, cutting out wheat and red meats. I drink enough water and have ensured I wear all the running gadgets one can buy. All the boxes are ticked. But getting up when I have fallen down is so difficult.

Previously, when it came to motivating myself and getting my head space right, I would sit quietly and repeat positive statements to myself. I would envisage myself running and completing races. I would fill my time with reading motivational running books. It would always be a very private and personal journey.

But there’s something I realised a few months ago when I started my blogging. When it comes to believing in my abilities, nothing helps me do that more than realising that others believe in me. In fact, spending time with people that build me up is exactly what I spent the week doing.

Dinner with a best friend (who meticulously read back to me every sentence from my coach’s email and analysed each comment with a fine tooth comb and turned each sentence into a positive statement – Marci, you mean the world to me), to the awesome run with an inspirational friend from Cape Town (Rogeema, you are too awesome for words) and an Iron Man (Morne) who surprised me with a visit, right down to the motivational tweets and caring comments on my blog telling me that quitting is not an option and that they believed in me.

There’s nothing that touched my heart more than realising that other people are so willing to share in my running pains and get me through the bad times.

I’m back up. I’m running.

Dear coach, let’s start again. I’m ready.

I didn’t listen. I thought I knew better. But I don’t.

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One of the first instructions my running coach gave me was that I should not run any races until he tells me to. But as any runner will know, this is torture, especially when everyone around you is entering all of their favourite races.

So instead of listening to him, I entered and ran the Dischem 5km race in Bedfordview on Sunday morning. I thought, hey, it’s just a quick fun run. Surely it’s okay?

I expected to do brilliantly. I expected to shave minutes off my previous time. But I didn’t. In fact, as we drove home, I was hit by immense disappointment and irritation with myself. I had managed to run without stopping once. This was great. But I was slow and still running at 8 mins/km.So I phoned my coach, sheepishly apologising that I had “skelmpies” run a race behind his back, but also begging him for answers as to why I was not yet running faster. After he gave me a firm lecture, I finally understood exactly why he had given that instruction.

You see, running by myself on a quiet Sunday morning around my neighbourhood is a very different experience to running a race. Even if I try fool myself in to believing that it’s a “fun” run, it isn’t. And it wasn’t on Sunday.

In fact, I was pumped. I was nervous. My adrenaline was flowing. I was tense, anxious and excited. As the race started, I was already thinking I was going to do brilliantly. Thanks to a great new friend (Craig aka @biggestbossfan) who ensured I did not walk once, I landed up completing the race in 40 mins. Yip, 8 minutes per km!

I was gutted! All I could think of was what about all my speed work? What about all the extra effort of 3 weeks of training? I felt miserable and disappointed. I took my eye off the end goal and landed up feeling highly demotivated.

My coach was right. It’s a massive psychological knock which I took and doesn’t help my training much. All I could focus on after the race is that my training wasn’t helping and that I was always going to be a slow runner jogger and yet, this is so not true.

I guess the biggest lesson I’m learning from my coach is patience. I’m realising that the end goal is not Two Oceans (a race with so much hype it stresses me out tremendously).

The end goal is in fact listening to my body. Believing in my abilities and having the patience to believe that it will happen. Eventually. Because it will.

So I have my 2012 ASA number ready to be sewn on to my running kit and while I wait patiently for my first official run of the year, I will carry on training. I suspect that compared to last year, running in 2012 is going to be filled with many challenges and unexpected surprises of its own.

Pushing through the storms

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Living in Jo’burg, one of the things I absolutely love are the awesome Highveld storms! I love the build-up…the dark clouds, that booming thunder and the lightening across the dark purple skies. There’s nothing more spectacular!

However, with a detailed running training schedule to follow since I started with my running coach, I’ve become really niggly with all the rain that has hit Jo’burg in the last few weeks.

You see, I have totally changed my training regime since January. Whereas before I trained mostly indoors, with a personal trainer at the gym at 6am on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, I am now only focussed on running every afternoon, as per my new running schedule, out on the open roads.

Let me stop for a minute and be completely honest with you: The last 3 weeks have been difficult. I have run every day (except Saturdays). It’s not as if I am clocking up major kms. Somedays I’ll only run 3kms, but the discipline to run and to push myself, especially with the required speed work is out of my comfort zone. It’s hard work. It’s not something I’ve done before. My entire body screams ‘stop’!

The humidity that comes with the afternoon rains hasn’t helped. It feels as if I am suffocating. I cannot breathe. I am often gasping for air and the sweat just runs down my face. Wednesday’s run was particularly difficult and it took all my energy and strength not to walk. I failed. Most of the route I landed up walking instead of running. I felt pap! But I’ve stuck to the schedule and have pushed as hard as I can.

I then came across a @runnersworldza tweet that not only made me smile but made me realise a few things…

I realised that it’s been 3 weeks. Already! Yes, 3 difficult weeks but I have not quit. My legs have not given up on me. My body is getting stronger and stronger. I’ve realised that I am in fact doing more training than I did last year. This is awesome! This is what counts!

I need to stop complaining and enjoy my training! Let it rain!