Dear Two Oceans Half Marathon… we need to talk.

Posted on February 27, 2013 by Bo

Dear Two Oceans Half Marathon,

Like most runners, I fell in love with you right from the start. You were the dream race, the one everyone spoke about. When my running training started at the beginning of each year, it would be centred around you as the goal date, the goal race. All the reading I did was about you. All the training I did was for you. In terms of running, you were ‘my everything’.

But since 2010, things between us started to go wrong. You started to see more people and the entries just grew and grew. The problem is that with 16 000 runners, it makes it that much tougher for me to get over that starting mat without losing at least 10 minutes. I don’t exactly have 10 minutes to spare because, as you know, I run at 8 minutes per km and this cuts it fine with a 3 hour cut off time. It’s funny because ever since I started running, I’ve allowed your 3 hour cut off time to dictate my runs and my pace to the extent that I feel absolutely miserable when I don’t run my half marathons under 3 hours.

I guess that’s my point. How you make me feel. Like any woman in an abusive relationship, I forgave you because I ‘loved’ you. I even started this blog about ‘Keeping up’ because I was so desperate to please you. But if I have to be honest with myself, you make me feel like a failure, inadequate, pathetic. You stress me out and instead of enjoying the run, I keep thinking that I will fail. I keep wanting to quit every single day but fear that other runners will judge me.

I don’t feel like that when I run other races. In fact, since January, I’ve noticed a change within me. I started to like running half marathons and not be stressed about the time. I started to enjoy the distance. I’ve loved every kilometre and when I’ve crossed the finish line, I’ve been so damn proud of myself. Proud because I am able to run 21.1km. So far, I’ve run 3 half marathon races this year and each one has taken me over 3 hours, but you know what, it didn’t matter. I have fallen in love with my running again!

So, I think what I’m trying to say is … it’s not you, it’s me. It’s taken me 4 years to realize that running is supposed to be fun. It’s taken me so many races to finally acknowledge that I run at 8 minutes per km and I’m okay with that. I watch so many other runners crossing that finish line after me with smiles on their faces. I want to be one of those runners. I want to be content and at peace and not carry around this huge burden.

So it’s good bye. We can still be friends and I will see you for the 8km run on Good Friday. But as far as any long term commitment, you’ve taken up way too much of my time and energy (both mentally & physically) already. I’m moving on.

Bronwynne

What the hell is wrong with people?

Posted on February 25, 2013 by Bo

At gym recently, I accidentally stepped on to a moving treadmill and took a huge fall. I grazed my hands, my knees and my shoulder. I have no recollection of how it happened because I fell so quickly (I hope there’s no YouTube video out there). The sad thing is that when it happened, no one came to help me. In fact, people even walked past as though I was invisible. Have we really become so detached from one another that we can’t be bothered to help one another? Are people so concerned about minding their own business that they choose to ignore someone who may need help? Odd.

I was driving to work the other day and the newspaper seller was opening a sucker. As he popped it into his mouth, he threw the wrapper on the floor. I stopped, opened my window and asked him to pick it up. He laughed in my face and walked away. It put me in such a bad mood all day long. Do people not care?

People you see at the office every single day who pack up their bags at the end of the day and walk out without saying goodbye. I was in the lifts and started chatting to a colleague recently. When the lift doors opened, she miraculously got super-charged legs and walked off at high speed without me. Huh? Was it something I said? Have basic manners gone out the window? Are we becoming socially awkward around one another?

A good friend of mine was in a coma in hospital a few weeks back. As he recovered, I asked him if mutual friends of ours knew what happened, he answered, “It’s awkward. How do I tell them? Do I just put it on Facebook? I don’t really know how to bring it up.” Sometimes we announce the most ‘arb’ details on social media, such as what we ate for dinner or what time we go to bed. But alerting people of something more serious just seems out of place. How did we do it in the old days?

And don’t get me started on emails. Does anyone bother to reply to emails anymore? It feels as if I send emails into a dark abyss and no one ever acknowledges what I say or send them. I only realized the email system was down after a whole week last week after supplier emails were not coming through. I had concluded that they were incompetent and they thought that I was ignoring them. No, the emails just weren’t coming through but no one picked up a phone to check.

Some days all I do is shake my head and wonder… what the hell has gone wrong? Is this the new norm?

The year of the healthy eater

Posted on December 4, 2012 by Bo

This year has definitely been the year of the ~~diet~~ healthy eating plan. Not a week has gone by without some article popping up on the web or tweets about no carbs, low carbs, Paleo, Atkins, Dukan… you name it. I’ve watched the outcry from dieticians against Professor Tim Noakes’ revolutionary eating plan. I’ve become aware of the Sleek Geek movement and the numerous updates. Even buddies of ours swapped the regular burgers and beers for green leaves and black coffee. It’s truly been a year where everyone has joined one or other healthy eating plan in the hope of losing weight.

So when KK completed the RAC Tough One 32km running race recently, we were discussing the race and it got me thinking. You see, as a runner, KK will never walk during a race. In his mind, it’s a running race and the only time he walks is through the water stops. Yet walking during a race is very much part of my races. My walk/run strategy is what gets me to the finish line. Both of us are runners but with very different running styles. We do what works for us.

And I guess that’s the point with diets too. Noakes’ eating plan is not for everyone, but it has worked for him. Sleek Geek has motivated loads of people, but the whole group thing might turn some people off. And yes, those on the cabbage/South California/Atkins diet might feel great for a week when they are able to lose 6kgs, and that’s okay.

Let them enjoy the high while it lasts. We’re all different and sometimes, something that works for me might not necessarily work for someone else. The key is to not judge or criticize but try to support as much as I can. Because let’s face it, there’s nothing as wonderful as crossing that finish line or losing those kilo’s! Is there?

Is being alone making me lonely?

Posted on December 3, 2012 by Bo

KK is away on a business trip. You’d think I’d be used to it by now but I’ve realised that I’m not. Since I met KK, he has gone away on many business trips. Some of them have been short ones, some of them as long as 5 weeks. I usually arrange dinner dates with all my besties, I plan my PVR schedule and try get in long phone calls with my sister and my mom. But the plans all sound more exciting than reality. Because if I have to be honest with myself, I actually hate being alone.

Is there a difference between being alone and lonely? Surprisingly, the dictionary defines lonely like this:

lone•ly [lohn-lee] – adjective, lone•li•er, lone•li•est. affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.

Ironically, being alone is definitely making me feel incredibly ~~depressed~~ lonely. Yes I have loads of friends and colleagues around me. But it’s not the same, especially when I am so used to being with KK all the time. I can’t sleep during the week. I don’t feel like watching TV. I avoid going out. I tend to sleep my weekend away. I go into total hibernation until he returns.

I think it’s been bugging me a lot more lately because I’ve realised that with us not having any children, without KK, I truly am alone. I’ve never really been alone. After I moved out of home, I always had someone in my life and met KK 15 years ago. He’s all I’ve got. So when he does go away, I am fooling myself in to believing I love the ‘free’ time. I hate it.