Finding inspiration when and where I least expected it

Posted on July 18, 2012 by Bo

I had good intentions of going for a run yesterday. First, I left my running kit at home, so I landed up missing time trial. Then I got home early enough but blamed the chilliness of the afternoon and not knowing what to wear. Then my iPod was flat. I casually tweeted about it (as one does) and received this reply:So I went to gym and came home smiling. Not because I felt great having run 5kms like I wanted to. Not because I got home all sweaty and red in the face (which I love). Not because I scored an extra point with Vitality. But because of these reasons:

The thin woman with the prosthetic leg was on the stretching mat. At first glance you don’t notice it but look long enough and you see the metal linking the shoe to the shorts. She reminded me to be grateful that I have both my legs and can run. No excuses.

Crazy face (that’s what I call her) was on the bike as she is every evening. Dressed in an over-sized T-shirt with hair tied back and an alice band, she pushes herself on the bike for a full hour until she is dripping in sweat. Eyes closed, her body bobs to her own rhythm on the bike.

John Coffey waved me hello. If you’ve seen ‘The Green Mile’ you will know that I am referring to a huge black man who is so big but has a heart of gold. My Coffey is usually on the treadmill walking on a level 5. It’s slow but it doesn’t matter. He’s still doing more than most.

It wasn’t the skinny chicks checking out their hair in the mirror or the muscled okes hoping you’d see them lifting weights. It was those three unlikely characters that left me quite inspired. It’s as if they were placed there on purpose for me last night to remind me that there are no excuses to skip gym.

I’m glad I went.

Three photos which made my week

Posted on July 5, 2012 by Bo

It’s been another tough week for the people in my life and in particular for those that surround me at work. Another week of watching them “live” a life where stress is the norm. In amidst the pressures of work, the rushing around, the meetings, the reports, three photos lifted my mood this week. Three photos that made me forget about everything going on. Three photos which made me stop and think differently about my day.

This photo was taken by @HayleyM_ (http://www.everything-inbetween.net/). She has the amazing ability to see the beauty in all things. The moon looked absolutely stunning this week. While some of my colleagues are hanging on by a thread while they struggle with stress, both at work and at home, I wish they knew that just like the constant moon which rises, comfort will come and that people around them do care.I love whales. They are magnificent creatures! So when I picked up on a tweet in the week pointing to this awesome photo taken by African Dive Adventures during the Sardine Run, I could not stop staring at it. It’s mesmerizing. This whale spoke to me too. As I stared into its eye, I realised that even though I have lost steam on a specific project, I need to push through because it might make a difference to someone’s day. Sometimes, it’s not only the big things that matter, but the little things too.

I learnt something about myself this week. I learnt that it’s okay to be proud of myself and to speak highly of my successes. I need to stop allowing others to steal my thunder. This last photo belongs to @sikspens, one of the first people I followed on Twitter. Her bio includes the words ‘happy snapper’ but as you can see, her photo is far from it! If I close my eyes, I can feel the sand in between my toes after looking at this photo. She tells me this is one of her best photos. I agree! It’s one of many that she proudly shares on Twitter and which I wanted to share with you.

Happy Weekend to all my friends and readers of my blog! Make it count!

Pizza delivery for one

Posted on June 3, 2012 by Bo

One of the worst and probably saddest memories I have of being young and single was when I used to order take-out on a Friday night. I would phone up Mr Delivery and would order three or sometimes even four different meals, just so that the delivery guy didn’t think I was alone and felt sorry for me. (height of lame, I know).

Two burgers and chips, throw in a 2 litre coke, Mexican pizza, extra chilli and calamari and rice (which was usually my meal). I remember clearly that when the delivery guy used to arrive at the house, I’d call out to empty rooms on the other side of the house, ‘Guys, your burgers are here…’ *echo*. But at least I fooled him. I think.

Years later and I couldn’t give two hoots what Mr Delivery thinks of me, but I still hate being alone. I haven’t been alone for quite a number of years now since getting married, but with KK having gone off on a business trip, I’ve been all by myself. It’s been tough. I’ve hated it.

At first, I had plans to fill my time: I planned to blog, to visit my folks, to gym (and lose lots of weight), read magazines while my painted nails dried and generally spend time doing ‘stuff’ I never get around to doing. None of this has happened. In fact, since he left, I fear I may be on the verge of developing a severe case of bed sores. All I seem to do is get home from work and hibernate in the bedroom, watching TV in bed and drinking too many cups of tea. I’ve also started to talk to myself. Out loud!

I’ve realised that I am miserable being alone especially when KK and I do almost everything together. And I mean everything! We go to gym together, we go shopping together; we will even wait for each other to get tired before heading off to bed. The worst part is that I have been forced to run at the gym for fear that if I do run out in the streets, there is no one waiting for me to get home safely.

It’s not so much loneliness but being alone. It’s doing things all by myself and not with my best friend.

I really miss you KK and I’m counting the days until you get home. Not long now…

Helpless. Yes, that’s my word.

Posted on May 24, 2012 by Bo

Trawling through my Twitter timeline before walking into the office yesterday morning, I came across a tweet from one of my favourite tweeps, @Anatinus. The question she posed was, “If you had to choose one word to describe yourself today, what would it be?”

I sat in my car for a few minutes, trying to come up with a word, but couldn’t. Being the positive person that I am and always wanting to display a happy, shining disposition, I kept thinking up clever, cheerful words to describe myself. But yet none of them seemed to describe exactly what is going on in my head.

My head is spinning. I keep trying to come up with the right answer, the solution to a problem but keep hitting a brick wall.

I’m anxious. Worried. Concerned. Deeply saddened. Angry. But mostly helpless.

Two of my closest friends are hurting. They are in the lowest of lows. In a dip and as much as I try to reach down and pull them up, I can’t. No matter what I tell each of them or how I try to convince them of what is right, it feels as if it’s falling on deaf ears. But their situations are not unique. We’ve all been there (or are there) at some point in our lives.

Why do we torture ourselves? Why do we allow ourselves to go through pain and hurt? Why do we allow others to treat us so badly? Why do we not want the very best for ourselves? Why do we accept second best? Why is it so difficult to walk away from someone who we know deep down inside does not love us as much as we love them? Why do we fight for relationships we know are wrong and are unhealthy and will only end in tears?

Watching from the outside, seeing the sadness in their eyes, watching their self-esteems drop, I can only hold their hands and be there for them. But it’s tough.

I’m helpless…

What word would you use to describe yourself?