Tag Archives: running

March 2012 – Am I coming or going?

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Wow, can you believe it’s March already! It’s absolutely crazy how time just flies by so quickly.

So I thought what better time to do a quick assessment of my year and see whether or not the goals I set out for myself in January were still relevant and if I had achieved anything.

My weight. Nothing happening! I have plateaued on level FAT. Even the scale says I’m obese. *shock* As much as I try eat healthily and try not cheat, the weight stays stuck. I’m getting a little frustrated. My goal is to lose 7kgs this year and so far, since January, zero. Action plan required. STAT!

 

My work. Never been better! My new boss has turned out to be incredibly supportive. Coaching sessions have proved invaluable and I feel as if I finally understand what it is I’m meant to be doing every day. It’s a pretty powerful feeling to know that you can add great value to your team and be awesome at what you do.

 

My family & friends. This is most probably the area I’ve had most success with. Having not had anyone over to my place last year, I’ve already had our besties over for spaghetti and meatballs. I’ve also managed to make time for my close friends and made a concerted effort to meet at least once a month. I slipped a little by only seeing my niece two weeks after her birthday, but all was forgiven when we arrived with gifts. Phew…

My running. Even though I’ve been running for 4 years now, the last two months have been the most emotional for me. What a rollercoaster ride run I’ve been on! Training with a coach, speed work, pulled quad muscle, caught in the rain. It’s been pretty hectic. Ironically enough, it’s been more mentally draining than physical. I’ve changed the goal posts a few times, going from wanting to run Two Oceans in record time, to focussing on 10km races. I’ve also gone through stages of hating my running to falling in love with it again.

The next time I review my goals Two Oceans will have passed, our Easter holiday in Cape Town will be over and we’ll be launched into Winter. Brrrrrr!

It’s amazing how much can change in one’s life in such a short time. It’s worth stopping every now and then and taking it all in.

That extra baggage can get really heavy unless you let it go…

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When runners talk about the Deloitte half marathon, I usually pipe up and say, “I officially came last in that race in 2010” because I did. No, I’m lying. I came second last. KK, who ran the race with me, came last.

Let it be known that the Deloitte 21km race holds some really bad memories for me. It was a race where my loving hubby decided to run with me, hoping that this would help me run quicker if he motivated me along the way. Wrong! We fought the whole way. I don’t think KK has ever felt more frustrated running at my pace (8mins/km when he usually runs at 5mins/km).

In fact, it’s an ugly memory that sticks in my head. After 2010, I made the promise never to run Deloitte half again and stick to the 10km race. But it’s amazing how those memories stay with you.

When we arrived at the race on Saturday, we parked at a different parking spot than normal (this already threw me off). I was niggly because I had not slept well the night before. The queue for the loo was longer than the 10km race itself so I started the race in a bit of a fowl mood. Even once my good running friend Craig aka @biggestbossfan caught up to me (in a sea of thousands, I still don’t know how he finds me!) I could still not shake the wave of negativity that overwhelmed me.

Bottom line: I didn’t want to be there. I kept having flashbacks of that awful 21km race.

It was at the 6km mark that Craig shot off, mumbling something about negative splits (all I heard was the word negative), and I was left on my own. As I started walking, the lead marathon runner came shooting past. Oh my! All around me, the other 10km runners were yelling and cheering him on. It was wonderful!

I suddenly realised that I needed to stop feeling so miserable and get on with it!

It’s the boost I needed. I finished my run. 82 minutes. Pffft! Whatever…

You know, in life, unless you deal with those ugly memories of your past, they will always be there, holding you back. You need to let it go and take what you can from the experience.

I did. From now on, when someone asks me about Deloitte, I’m going to reply with, “Yes, I’ve run Deloitte. The half marathon as well as two 10kms. What a challenging race!”

Dave: I’ll do it my way…

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My word, how small is this world!

Remember Dave? The pace setter who got me to that finish line of Two Oceans Half Marathon on 2010? He read my blog! In addition to some awesome comments, he sent me this story which he wrote and which was published in 2008 in Runners World.

Not only did it touch me but I’m sure you will find it inspirational too…

Thanks Dave!

I’ll do it my way…

I had a moment this week that explained everything to me. It’s funny how things happen –– suddenly, out on a training run, I find the answers to all my running questions. And all it took was a little hill and a bit of self-examination. Crazy stuff!

I found out last Thursday what it is all about, during a training run in the lovely Sani Hotel area on the KZN-Lesotho border, where I was staying ahead of the Sani Stagger Half Marathon I was due to run on Saturday. I headed out for my run to loosen the old legs up a bit and encountered a hill. Not a very tough hill, but one that pushed my heart-rate monitor up, and admittedly I slowed down to a walk, but when I reached the top I thought to myself, “Damn, Self, what are you doing?”

I immediately turned around, ran back down that hill, turned around and ran up it again. And when I got to the top without walking I felt like Rocky Balboa in the first Rocky film when he runs up the stairs of a monument and gets to the top, stops and jumps around with his arms in the air, celebrating like he’s just won the world title. OK, I didn’t quite jump around pumping my fists in the air, but I did shout “OH YEAH!”

It hit me then, that this is what it is about – your personal choices and goals, what you decide you want to achieve, and not what is expected of you. I just wanted to get up that hill without walking –– my time didn’t matter, and nobody else’s time mattered. It was just about me and my goal.

We place so many expectations on ourselves: Win this race, or our age category, or do a certain time on that race. Or beat this person, or the sub-whatever pacing bus, or just finish before the cut-off. Take this past weekend’s Sani Stagger, where I set myself a goal of beating my friend Sharon. Well, let’s not even go there –– because I ate her dust! But I sure talked a good race before the time!

I think sometimes we don’t realise the potential damage we do by professing our semi-wondrous abilities in running, because there are newbies (brand new runners) reading every word we write on running forums, or speaking to us at work, social functions, club runs and races. They then sometimes go out there with great expectations only to be sadly disappointed with the results.

For example, you read on the forum that this runner did such and such race in this time and it was a great race, but actually this guy is a double green Comrades runner (20 or more medals) who has a 4km time trial time of sub-16 minutes! The newbie arrives and tries to be like this runner, does the 4km in 36 minutes and never returns because he or she is totally embarrassed. I mean, how could they have done such a bad time? No ways can they hang out with these real runners.

But it’s not about what others can do or achieve regularly, seemingly so easily. If you’re a newbie runner, you are what you want to be, and you should not let others prescribe what you must do or achieve.

Similarly, we often get labelled according to our abilities and speed. I used to be a walker, and you know, things were quite simple then. You were a social walker or you were a race walker. But now what do I call myself? I am not a ‘‘runner,’’ in the grand scale of things, because I am not an ‘‘alien,’’ a person whose times are out of this world. But I am not ‘‘just a jogger,’’ either, so here I am stuck in this void between runner and jogger.

But now I realise that I don’t care what people call me, because I am a runner. I have my own goals and I will go after them in my own way, at my own speed, and on my terms. It doesn’t matter what others do, say or think, as long as I know I am doing my best.

For I am a runner.

(Dave’s blog: http://back2basicsqbh.wordpress.com/)

Remembering Valentine’s Night Race 2008

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On Friday night I was trawling through my Twitter timeline and started to see tweets from people who had just finished the Randburg Harriers Valentine’s Night race.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with such emotion as I remembered the race that got me hooked onto running 4 years ago.

I remember that night like it was yesterday. The hot afternoon when we arrived at Randburg Harriers, sitting on the grass with friends watching the field fill up, walking to the start, the sun setting as the gun went off, the funny costumes people were wearing, the streets getting dark and then the final 300m when KK and other friends stood waiting for me as I neared the finish line. (I also recall the KFC burger on the way home!)

My time: 87 minutes!

Reflecting on the race has made me realise something…

I have spent the last couple of years obsessing about my running pace and the fact that I run so slowly. I have even gotten to the point where I have hated races and dreaded running just because my pace is so slow. I started a blog to document how slow I run!

Yet, on that night 4 years ago, nothing could take away that feeling of immense pride and self-accomplishment that I felt. I was on top of the world and felt incredible. Victorious. After completing that race, I felt as if I could conquer the world! But look at my time! Did I care? Not a chance!

So what happened?

How and where did I lose my passion and love? Where did this obsession come from?

I know the answer: Two Oceans 2010. Missing that 3 hour cut-off broke my spirit. I felt like a failure and since then I’ve been on a mission to ensure it never happens again.  In a way, it’s become the focus of my running and I’ve lost a bit of that passion that fuelled me that night. Yes, so I did go back and conquer Oceans, but the stress of it all still overshadows the victory.

These past couple of weeks, I’ve started to relook my priorities and decide what’s important. I’ve been doing some soul searching to understand exactly why I run, why I am so hard on myself and what I enjoy about running.  

Because right now, I’m not sure if what I’m focussing on is right. It sure as hell doesn’t feel as good as it did finishing Valentine’s Night race 4 years ago…