Category Archives: My Blog

Breaking down to heal

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I can’t remember why I stopped blogging…

It wasn’t because of the “busyness” of life. If you scroll through my social media feeds, you’ll see that I had lots of time for content creation.

But sharing on Instagram doesn’t have the same sense of intimacy as a blog post. My blog is mine. I don’t share the space with others and I’m not competing with algorithm updates. My stories belong to me.

My last blog entry was 4 years ago, just as the world was changing post COVID. I think in a way, we’re all still dealing with some parts of decisions that we made during that time.

I’m still running.

But if I thought I’d learnt all the lessons that running could ever teach me, I was mistaken.

I had both knees operated on during 2022 and couldn’t walk, nevermind run. It exposed just how big a role running played in my life.

Always time for content creation!

When I couldn’t run, I saw less of KK. Even though we don’t run together, it dominates our lives.

When I couldn’t run, there were no more weekly track sessions or running friends to bond with. I felt lonely.

When I didn’t run, my mental health suffered. I felt weak. And unfit. And old.

And then I broke my foot and my 8th Two Oceans half marathon was put on hold.

Falling off the box at gym!

That’s when not being able to run taught me my biggest lesson of all.

I started my blog in 2010 when I missed the 3 hour cutoff at my 2nd Two Oceans half marathon. In those days, my running speed was all that mattered. My runs focused on finishing my 21km races in under 3 hours!

I became obsessed with my pace and any race run at slower than 8mins per km felt like a failure to me.

The more I ran, the more I hated it. I changed coaches twice, thinking that the training would make a difference. I was disappointed in myself and didn’t even notice the kilometers clocking up.

But I had to break both knees and a foot to realise how much it hurt when my “slow” running was taken away from me.

What gap is left in your life when something or someone is removed?

Spending time at home made me yearn for the track sessions, the friendships, the feeling of achievement when I crossed that finish line.

I wasn’t missing the competitiveness or PBs at all. That wasn’t important. I was missing me.

Bron, the slow runner. Bron, the plain and simple average runner. Oh how I missed how running made me feel.

Strong. Fit. Capable.

To feel exhausted and pleasure at the same time.

Running bonds are strong!

To experience good and bad days and to keep going.

When you focus on the wrong things, it’s easy to get distracted. It feels like that with my blog.

I had forgotten why I had started blogging in the first place.

I started blogging to share the lessons that running teaches me about life.

I watch newbie runners and see their obsession with PBs and pace. I smile.

I watch experienced runners get disappointed with their performances. It happens.

Everyone is in a different season when it comes to running. Some are in seasons of abundance.

Others are stuck disappointed and disillusioned.

It’s taken a few years to dust off my blog and that’s okay. There’s no set time when you’re expected to work through your own personal seasons.

My 9th Two Oceans done & dusted

But hopefully when you get through them you gain clarity and can move on.

I know I’m ready to.

Journaling and running, for no one else but myself.

Yours in running, walking and loving all the rewards it brings me.

Bron xxx

My blog has been silent and yet I have so much to share!

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My blog has been pretty quiet lately. It’s not that I have nothing to share. Quite the opposite in fact! I’ve been busy. Very busy!

Here’s what’s been happening:

  • We bought a small business. What an eye opener this has been! It’s taken us ages to sort things out. From bank accounts, merchant accounts, web development, ordering stock, waiting for the stock to arrive. It’s been such a learning experience, full of ups and downs. We wanted to wait until we were ready to start telling everyone and sharing our news, but that seems to be taking forever! So here it is: We’re officially the distributors for CW-X in Southern Africa! *Squeal*
  • Running your own social media content plan for your own business takes time! Most weekends and weekday evenings, I’m sitting down writing posts and creating content. The Instagram account is live (go check it out!) but we’re reluctant to get going on Facebook until our website is ready & people can purchase stock. Want to help me? If you do wear CW-X and have any photos showing the running kit, please can you share those with me. I’d much rather show real athletes (that’s you!) than posed models in the kit.

    This is us both in our CW-X clothes at Parkrun. We might need to work on our posing. LOL

  • Like almost 90% of Jo’burgers, I got bronchitis and was out of action. It took forever to heal, two visits to the Doc, daily nebulizing, lots of sleep (read: Allergex). Then out of the blue, I get shingles. On my face! WTH? 3 weeks of misery has taught me two lessons. One: listen to my body. Read bullet point number one. It’s been a stressful time! Lesson number two: when you can’t run, your body had no way of de-stressing. You get even more niggly. I acknowledge the huge role running does play in my life & will try not complain about my running again.
  • I have been on a mission to help an after care centre in Kliptown called Izanokhanyo Community Based Project get SnapScan so that donations can be easier as well as kickstart their social media so that we can start telling their story. Let me tell you, it’s made me incredibly happy inside to help. It’s early days but here’s holding thumbs I can help make a difference! I’d love your help! I’ll let you know how soon!

    Helen, who runs Izanokhanyo without a salary, handing out sweet to the kids.

  • I’ve been successful in my application to be part of a pilot project kicking off at work. All new. Unknown. Virgin territory. Exciting as hell but I’m also nervous. But after climbing in & assisting with some of the project management for the last couple of weeks, I’ve proven to myself that I am capable of learning & trying something new. Doing this nowadays at work needs to be the norm.
  • My Dad’s partner Rina passed away too. It’s funny how you think you have time and you discuss illness and old age and plans on what to do if this happens and if that happens. But when things do happen, no one is quite prepared. Everyone grieves differently. Each person says goodbye in their own way. I’m glad we’re spending more time with my Dad. I wish my parents stayed closer.

Everything I’ve mentioned above happens for a reason and at the right time. The delays in getting our business up and running gave me more time to spend with my Dad. Getting sick slowed me down and forced me to rest and take stock of what mattered. What mattered was helping Izanokhanyo in my spare time and not using that time for reading work emails. And yet I was rewarded by getting the job at work.

I’m going to make more time to blog too. This one was long. If you made it to here, the key take out is that I’m fine, I’m excited and yes… I’m still running! We’ve got Run-The-Berg (or in my case with limited training Walk-The-Berg) coming up, Kaapsehoop and Otter.

Can’t wait for that purple carpet to line the streets!

By the way, the jacarandas are starting to bloom. It’s the most beautiful time to be outdoors! Go for that run!

25 questions for 2015

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I love lists and what better list than one listing 25 questions summarizing the year that was. Thank you @TanyaKovarsky for the idea!

1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?

I ran a 32km road race! The furthest I’ve ever run before has been 21kms.

RAC 32 km road race

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I stopped reading work emails on my phone & decided that when I left work in the afternoon, to focus on my running, my hobbies and KK. I stuck to it. Best decision ever. I’m thinking of what to decide to do differently in 2016.

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?

At home, in comfy clothes, sipping wine. Pretty much the same way as previous years.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

tokyo cherry blossomsTokyo (I’d go back tomorrow) & Hong Kong (My first & last visit)

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?

Less stress. More time to unwind and spend time on doing the things that make me happy.

7. What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Two Oceans half marathonRunning Two Oceans half marathon with my dad was pretty cool!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I’ve mentioned my 32km race. Also achieving my 21km PB. And yes, managing a team at work in a very challenging environment.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Allowing work to turn me into a monster some days.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Several arthritis flare-ups and a niggly knee.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

An Apple watch.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Cups of coffee and tea at work.

13. What song will always remind you of 2015?

None that I can think of?

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?

More blogging. This is what my 2016 New Year’s Resolution will be.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Allow work stress to get the better of me.

16. What were your favourite TV shows?

Game of Thrones. Power Couple.

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No

18. What was the best book you read?

I confess that I did not get time to read a single book this year. How bad is that?

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?

None.

20. What was your favourite film of this year?

I saw so many movies but none springs to mind.

21. What did you do on your birthday?

TokyoIt was a biggie: I turned 40 and spent the day celebrating with KK in Tokyo.

22. What kept you sane?

Knowing that I could escape everything and go for a run.

23. Who did you miss?

I thought about my Granny a lot. I longed to talk to her just one last time and keep imagining her answer to some of the things I’d tell her.

24. Who was the best new person you met?

I can’t believe I can’t answer this? I can’t think of anyone new that I met this year. Something to re-look in 2016.

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015

Turning 40 years old was liberating. I suddenly stopped giving a fuck. And my running. Discipline and consistency matters. Like anything in life.

When do you stop keeping up and just move forward?

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I received notification that my blog has turned 4 years old. Wow! 4 wonderful years of sharing my running ups and downs, my race stories, my work stresses, the joys of my weekends and sometimes, my inner most thoughts.

Reading my very first blog post made me quite teary-eyed. I started a blog to share my frustrations with being such a slow runner. The more I hated my slow pace, the more I loved blogging about it. With each and every race, I was learning more and more about myself. My running forced me to step back and look at what it all meant to me and what was important in life.

But looking back and reminiscing about some of my favourite blog posts, something has started to niggle me…

Two Oceans half marathon 2008

This was me crossing the finish line at the 2008 Two Oceans 8km fun run.

During the 4 years of blogging so much has changed, not only in my life but with my running too. In fact, my running has improved. Dramatically.

What started out as being a frustration and the source of many (many, many) blog posts, I’m not that slow runner anymore. I can confidentially say that I can now run a half marathon in under 3 hours. Comfortably. In fact, my next goal is to run it in under 2:40.

Sarens half marathon Tanya Kovarsky

Running with Comrades green number runner Tanya Kovarsky at this year’s Sarens half marathon. My time: 2:44

So then what’s been niggling at me you ask? Well, it’s what I say about my running. It’s how I talk about my blog. And it’s how I introduce myself on the various social media profiles.

I use words like “slow” and “trying to run faster than 8 minutes per km”. I keep saying I’m a 3 hour half marathon runner. Really? I keep holding onto something that I’ve grown out of and it’s holding me back. “I am what I speak” and I need to stop harping on about my so-called slow pace. I need to change the way I speak, because I’m most certainly not acting like that anymore. And if I’m going to achieve my next goal, I need to speak it into being.

I need to start telling people that I’m —“this close”— to running a half marathon in under 2:40. Because I am. I can feel it, it will happen. Soon!

I will never move forward and reach my goals if I continue to hang out in my past with all my failures.

I love the name of my blog and won’t change it. Keeping up with the Walkers and managing the stresses of life is still very much part of me. And no matter what my pace is, running continues to teach me so much about just that! But I need to listen to my gut and start being proud of my achievements. I am a great runner and yes, I can run in under 8 mins/km!

I haven’t updated any bio’s just yet. Watch this space.