Pizza delivery for one

Posted on June 3, 2012 by Bo

One of the worst and probably saddest memories I have of being young and single was when I used to order take-out on a Friday night. I would phone up Mr Delivery and would order three or sometimes even four different meals, just so that the delivery guy didn’t think I was alone and felt sorry for me. (height of lame, I know).

Two burgers and chips, throw in a 2 litre coke, Mexican pizza, extra chilli and calamari and rice (which was usually my meal). I remember clearly that when the delivery guy used to arrive at the house, I’d call out to empty rooms on the other side of the house, ‘Guys, your burgers are here…’ *echo*. But at least I fooled him. I think.

Years later and I couldn’t give two hoots what Mr Delivery thinks of me, but I still hate being alone. I haven’t been alone for quite a number of years now since getting married, but with KK having gone off on a business trip, I’ve been all by myself. It’s been tough. I’ve hated it.

At first, I had plans to fill my time: I planned to blog, to visit my folks, to gym (and lose lots of weight), read magazines while my painted nails dried and generally spend time doing ‘stuff’ I never get around to doing. None of this has happened. In fact, since he left, I fear I may be on the verge of developing a severe case of bed sores. All I seem to do is get home from work and hibernate in the bedroom, watching TV in bed and drinking too many cups of tea. I’ve also started to talk to myself. Out loud!

I’ve realised that I am miserable being alone especially when KK and I do almost everything together. And I mean everything! We go to gym together, we go shopping together; we will even wait for each other to get tired before heading off to bed. The worst part is that I have been forced to run at the gym for fear that if I do run out in the streets, there is no one waiting for me to get home safely.

It’s not so much loneliness but being alone. It’s doing things all by myself and not with my best friend.

I really miss you KK and I’m counting the days until you get home. Not long now…

Life is like a game of Scrabble

Posted on March 27, 2012 by Bo

If you appreciate a good game of Scrabble, then you’ll understand this post…

There’s a rule in Scrabble which says that when you are unable to use your letters to form a word, you can throw them all back, skip a turn, but then get to choose 7 new letters and start from scratch. You also have the option to skip a turn when you are unable to make a move.

I sometimes wish life could be this simple and have these options.

I often get so bogged down with the stresses of life that some days I feel totally overwhelmed. I am too stressed out, too tired to focus and it feels as if there’s just too much to do.

Days such as these, I wish I could throw all my problems and issues back, skip a turn and take my chances with a whole new set of challenges tomorrow.

The irony is that these complicated letters usually hold the biggest values. The Z is worth 10 points for example.

Life works pretty much the same way. If we are able to overcome the big problems, survive the painful days and get through the stresses, there is much value in store.

But sometimes, it’s so much easier to want to throw in the towel, give up, skip a turn and take the easy way out…

7 things you most probably didn’t know about me…

Posted on December 6, 2011 by Bo

So the challenge came from @TanyaKovarsky’s blog www.dearmax.org to list 7 things about myself that you most probably didn’t know.

Okay, so here goes:

1. When I was growing up, I collected Pink Panthers. At one stage I had 27 of them and called them my ‘Pankies’. I still have a few in the garage that I really should donate to charity. It just breaks my heart to get rid of them.

2. I was born a ginger, had blonde hair growing up, but now I am dark brunette.

3. I studied Information Science, which is really a fancy name for Librarianship. Yes, I like to wear my hair tied up in a bun and still remember the Dewey Decimal classification system.

4. I am an avid (closet) cross stitcher.

I really need to find time to do it. It truly is addictive and can keep me busy for hours.

5. I love documentaries. Especially about 9/11, The Kennedy’s and Man’s first flight to the Moon.

6. I never learnt to swim. I can do doggie paddle but never learnt to do crawl or backstroke or anything fancy. If I am totally honest, I am not really a water person at all.

7. Even though I have travelled to many exotic places, the Kruger Park and Namibia remain my two favourite places in the world! I was fortunate enough to spend a week quadbiking, 4X4’ing, sand boarding down the dunes in Walvis Bay and swimming with the dolphins two years ago. It’s a memory I will cherish forever!

Please share your 7 things with me! You’ll be amazed just how fascinating people find you!

I know I will….

I choose to run…

Posted on October 5, 2011 by Bo

Do you ever feel like running away from a situation?

When I was 10 years old, I ran away from home. Well, it was to the Van Rensburg’s house a few doors away from my house in the same complex, but still, I ran away. I was running away from a hiding that my mom was about to give me. We used to get hidings with a leather belt called Elvis. (written on it “Die kinders spring as Elvis sing” – but that’s a whole different blog post).

I remember that evening quite clearly. I had run away, trying to avoid getting a hiding (I can’t remember what for) and somehow thought that by the time (if) I returned home, all would be forgiven and forgotten. But that wasn’t meant to be. My mom was patiently waiting for me.

It started to get dark and I sat outside on the wall in the garden, not knowing what to do. Eventually I began to weight up my options. Would it be better to sit it out? Would I be able to survive a whole evening on my own (without supper or a jersey) or would it be easier just to go home and face the music?

Eventually my sister came to fetch me and said, “You might as well come home, get your hiding over and done with so we can all go to bed!” She was right. I had to face it. Which I did…

These days, I feel like that little girl again…

I sit at my desk at work, surrounded by talented individuals who are bogged down with a negative vibe, battling office politics and stress like I’ve never seen before. This time around, I am not the one facing the hiding but it feels as if running away is the only option available to me.

I would much rather sit on the wall, in the dark, cold and hungry than face the day-to-day stress of working in such a hostile environment surrounded by such negativity. It’s slowly starting to take its toll.

I mentioned it to my mentor in our last session. He picked up on some of my anxiety and said,

“Bron, don’t run away just because the heat in the kitchen is getting too hot. You will find stress no matter where you go. Face it. Confront it.”

Very much like I was forced to do that evening outside the Van Rensburg’s house.

But right now, I don’t have the energy. I think I’ll take my chances and just run…